How to tell a married woman that I like her?
Maurice, a married man for more than 20 years, has never forgotten his initial attraction for a married woman that he knew socially more than 10 years ago, when they both volunteered as board members at a local charity in a very small Midwestern town. Due to the small size of their community, and the fact that both of them are highly respected and well known in the community, it is simply impossible for them to be seen together and not be noticed. The woman’s husband suspected the attraction of the two and has not liked Maurice for years and has forbidden his wife to serve on the charity. He even intercepted a phone call between the two. He writes, “I think we are both fearful of even being seen near each other. For more than a decade, we have wanted each other, and I don’t think either one of us wants this to be extinguished. How can I make it happen?”
It is a common problem for married people. And I totally understand your delicate situation. It should be handled with utmost care and being discreet is critical. Do nothing in a hurry. If you think you have not thought through it enough, take a deep breath and sleep over it. The last thing you want is to destroy a marriage.
As I think about it, an option is to hire a person to do the job. You may need to look for a private detective (try the web or yellow book or Craig’s List), preferably out of town, who for a small fee, can do the task of setting up some initial communication. You will need to brainstorm with this professional on how she or he will make it happen but these folks can pretend to be a volunteer doing a survey or asking for charitable donations and can act as an intermediary. The best part is that they will treat everything as 100% confidential.
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