Kevin writes, “I am convinced that my wife needs professional help to get over her emotional problems that are destroying our marriage. Unfortunately, if I tell her so, she will immediately get defensive and show me the door. The only person I can really talk to to try and get them to help me convince her to seek help is her sister, who is out of the question since the two are so close that she may be the ideal person for something like this, but on the contrary, she will immediately take her side and then run off and tell my wife what I am disclosing and it probably won’t end greatly. I almost feel the same about any of her friends. I am now starting to think that the only thing I can do is try and stick it out and wait for the perfect time to talk about it but that is as likely to happen in a life time as Haley’s comet coming back by. I don’t know what to do. We have a horrible relationship but because I love her so much I am hanging in here despite the misery that I live in. I also think about the life of our 2-year old son.”
I know that this isn’t easy. Your friends and family members will support you and hers will support her. Occasionally however, there is someone who seems to have more influence on a person and unfortunately, she does not have such a person.
Is it worthwhile to stay in this marriage?
Think about it for a second. Why do you want to sacrifice yourself for a woman that really doesn’t seem to care? Why do you choose to be with a woman who will show you the door if you try to suggest something that will improve your relationship and bring happiness to you? Are you planning to become some kind of martyr? It appears to be a relationship in which you are the giver and she is a taker — not the best situation.
I admire your decision to love someone despite being treated with such disrespect but the world is full of wonderful people. I am sure you feel a little stuck with her being the mother of your child and you loving her, but you live only once and to live with such a person who doesn’t care for you and only cares for herself, I really hope that you will clear your head one weekend and think about what it means for the rest of your life.