Mark, a married man is trying to hit on a married woman, whom he helps on an academic project as a family friend. They knew each other prior to their marriages and even flirted with each other, but the attraction seemed to have intensified after they got married. He writes, “For some reason, my heart doesn’t think it’s the right time to say to her anything directly. Instead I would prefer some indirect, sublime, or subtle approach. Please advise if you have any idea. By the way, relationship with my wife is nearly perfect. In fact, this woman made me realize how important it is to love your wife and pay more attention to her, respect her, and care for her. Also, all my fantasies about her are in fact being realized with my wife. Suddenly the relationship with my wife has spiced up, so she is happier than before which makes me happy in turn. I think I am just going through a mid life crisis and want to boost my ego by having this fling so that I can reassure myself that I still have it.”
Yes, follow your guts about the timing and do not force it. Remember a man is a hunter and only the patient hunter can hunt well. So wait for the right time; it will come out more naturally, will look appropriate, and you are less likely to screw up. In the meantime, be kind, sweet, and gentle to her. Those things show that you care for her and there is nothing in the world that pleases a woman more. Also go the extra mile for her. Let us say that she needs a book that she cannot find; go ahead and beg the only library in town that has it and then bring it to her. You get the idea.
I was intrigued by your comment — Suddenly the relationship with my wife has spiced up — This is very interesting and not uncommon at all. Actually, many men who are having an extramarital affair or spending too much time looking at porn or having sex with prostitutes, their wives report better sex and an overall improvement in their relationships. So I am glad that you are seeing an improvement in your marriage.