Should I help my ex husband if he is in trouble?



Hilda writes, “My 63 years old husband and I separated 4 years ago due to his cheating. I threw him out. He continues to give me money to pay my bills. He moved in with this 46 year old woman. I still have all his personal belongings in my storage at home. He does anything I ask. He doesn’t want a divorce. The woman is obviously very angry because he still contacts me and sometimes I call there for him. He recently lost his house, but I just bought a new home and car. He is obviously unhappy now. Should I be there for him? Or, do you think he is reaping what he sowed? Please explain.”

Since there is no change in his behavior or feelings towards you, and I am assuming that you still dislike him, it will be a bad idea to get back together with him.

I am not sure if I understand everything but if he lost his house in foreclosure (I am assuming that due to not paying the mortgage) is he still giving you the money to pay your bills? If so, you want to make sure that you help him to the extent that he continues to support you particularly if you still not financially independent.

In any case, he has been nice to you all this time, and you might want to help him, as you would even a stranger, merely as an act of kindness.

I am for all practically purposes an atheist, but I still like to believe that you and I are no one to punish people for their actions. Regardless of what he did to you, you should not lose your compassion for a human being. Without taking him again as your spouse, I am sure that there are other ways you can help, for example, by not asking for money for a few months or sharing your savings with him or letting him stay in your house as a guest for a while.

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