I love a girl I met during summer break
Justin writes, “I am an 18 year old guy and I have just started university. During the summer holidays I met someone who I really liked, but I thought I only liked her as a friend. However, now that I’m at university in a different place, I realize that I love her, and I don’t want any of the girls here at university in the same way. So, I phoned her to tell her about my feelings and she said that she felt exactly the same. Whilst that made me really happy, (because at least my love isn’t unrequited) I have some problems. I will hardly be able to see her over the next four years because we will be at different universities, but I can do nothing but think about her and how much I love her. I’m not just being a silly teenager who doesn’t know how he feels, because I know that she is a really special person who brings out the best in me, and she really loves having me around her too, and so I don’t want to lose that. Also there are the usual fears that she might meet someone better and vice versa, but I understand that, but I’m not sure what to do? She is the only person I have ever loved, and at the moment I can’t picture myself ever being truly happy without her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.”
It sounds like a cliche, but if it is meant to be, it will happen. It does not matter how long you are separated or how things might change over time, if the love is as strong as you two feel, the relationship will survive. And if it does not, then maybe it was just a crush that went away.
Of course you will need to work on it to make it happen — I am not a big believer in the power of prayer or magic. Make sure that you two stay in touch regularly via phone, email, online chat, webcam, whatever works for you both. During your breaks, see if it is possible to meet. Maybe you can invite her to spend Christmas with your family or join her on her spring break.
Yes, it is likely that she might fall in love with someone else, but guess what, she could fall in love with another man if she were married to you. So stop worrying about that.
Four years is not a very long time and long distance relationships are painful but if you two want to make it work, it can. Trust her and let her know that she can trust you so that you both can still have good friends of both sexes and hang out with them like any university students.
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