Hugh writes, “I have a long-distance girlfriend who is seriously depressed. Thankfully, she is receiving psychiatric counseling and her therapist has asked me to join the session via a conference call. I am not particularly thrilled that my girlfriend will bring the counselor into our relationship directly. However, considering how difficult our relationship has been, I want to do what it takes to make it work. We have almost broken our relationship several times but I am skeptical of involving a therapist in resolving our differences. What do you think?”
My advice would be not to join the call. I have done dozens of conference calls for business reasons and I hate them. It is so hard to do serious business discussions without looking at people in the eye. In your case, it would be a disaster since these two ladies will be nodding at each other and you will always be on the defensive not knowing what to say or how to react. As you rightly say, this is between you and her and it is best that no one tries to act as a mediator.
I am shocked and surprised that you are still trying to make this work and I don’t know why. Maybe that you are just naive or a man with a good heart or simply desperate for love.
I am convinced more than ever that this woman is not for you, that the two of you do not make a couple that can have a loving, lasting relationship forever, that this woman is very troubled and may have several psychiatric disorders, that she is not interested in making it work, that the relationship right now is dysfunctional, and that regardless of what you do, it is destined to end.
I think you have done what you could and it is time to end it immediately without any more suffering for you. Please, listen to me. If you don’t, you will only go insane.