I am stuck with my boyfriend
Andrea writes, “I’m writing because I really feel like I need help to get out of a relationship with my so-called boyfriend. I first met him last year when I was 20 and he was 35. He told me when we first met that he was single, he had two children and that he worked on cars at an auto body shop. Months passed and I was with this man everyday. Then he started accusing me of cheating on him but I wasn’t. Then I found out about his Baby Mama, because somehow she had gotten a hold of my number. When we would go to his home there was never a female there, so I didn’t think that he was with someone. But in the back of my mind I kinda knew a woman stayed there. We would only go to his house rarely since there was more privacy at my place. One day I got caught in the home with him, and we had a fight with his Baby Mama/wifey. After that I stopped calling him. About a week went past and he ended up calling me back begging so I went back to him. Few months past I found out that I was pregnant with his child. He wasn’t there, so I ended up having an abortion. After I had the abortion he seemed like he couldn’t stay away from me saying things like, “Where you going?” “You ain’t going nowhere,” “You gonna be with me until you are like 30″ and so on. Right now I just feel like this relationship isn’t getting any better, for the simple fact not only is he still with his wifey, but deep down in my heart I know he is dating other women too. And I just can’t deal with it any more I feel I like if I do leave him, then what? I’m at a point where I don’t wanna talk to anyone else, be around other guys because I’m so stuck over him. He is the first and the only older man I’ve ever been with and was the first to get me pregnant. Am I emotionally stuck? I just don’t know what to do, because I’m so unhappy. Please help.”
A lot of women end up in this situation: stuck with an abusive man because they make themselves believe that no one else will want them. This man has many problems: he is not committed, unfaithful, and God knows how many women he has put in your situation. In other words, there is absolutely no reason for you to stay with him.
Now first of all you have to recognize that you are just 21 years old and your whole life is ahead of you. This man is much older to you and is taking advantage of being so young and naive. He has mastered the art of misleading women and you have bought into his BS.
You can turn your life around. There is still a lot of hope for you. Trust me, there are better men out there. In any case, you are too young to worry about men and marriage anyway. I would really like you to focus on building your own life so that you are first independent. It does not matter how small or humble a job that you have, but if you make some money you will feel so much better about yourself. And when that happens, good men will start to approach you — you won’t even have to try.
If you respect what I am saying then, gather the courage to tell him to leave you alone. You have to be strong and firm. Once you move on there is no looking back. You have to look at your future and put an action plan together to make it a bright one.
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