Hillary writes, “While spending time with a close family member, I ended up having an inappropriate sexual relationship with her husband because I was at a very low point in her life due to a divorce from an abusive husband and resulting financial challenges. Unfortunately, she found out. Her husband is a charming man and we connected instantly. With him I had a relationship like no other in my whole life of 45 years. It has created a lot of problems in my family, but I realize my mistake, and I am going to concentrate on myself now. Of course my family would say that is all I do anyhow. But they haven’t been around for the last year to see what has gone on in my life. They all sit in judgment from their own world not knowing what I have been dealing with. Granted I have to accept my own mistakes and take responsibility for myself. I think I’m ready for that now. I hope I can move forward now.”
If you felt a strong connection with him and enjoyed sex with him, well, great. You and I both know that ethically it was not the most appropriate thing to do, but it is behind you. Sex is a very powerful force and we all yield to our temptations from time to time. It is time to forget it and forgive yourself.
I hear from a lot of women like you who are literally abused by men like him. They either have problems or pretend that they do and prey on women who are sympathetic to their condition. This is the preferred strategy of married men to have sex with other women. Have you ever run into those lonely, middle-aged men who complain that their wives are no longer having sex with them and convince other women to take pity on them? Yes, this man is sick to take advantage of a woman who was at a very low point in her life.
I like your attitude and plan to put it behind you and move on. I know you are in your 40s and it ain’t easy to find good men at this stage, but I hear from women who actually do. Actually, many find love with younger men who come with less baggage, if any.