My husband is jealous of my dancing job
Melissa writes, “I am a married woman with children and my husband’s insecurity has made me feel like crap. He was that way when I met him; I call him needy. I can’t deal with it anymore. We see a therapist and she recommends I quit my job as an exotic dancer. That’s what I do for a part-time living. I work 3 nights a week, after 9 PM. My husband disagrees. With his recent pay cut, we can’t pay our bills without my night gig. What can I do?”
I am sorry to hear that you knew that he was needy and insecure when you met him and still married him. I suggest to women that they would be better off marrying a man without vision or handicapped in other ways than to marry a man who has no confidence in who he is.
I hope you have also realized that the older he has become, his insecurities have increased. Yes, with his income declining and age ticker rising, he is getting desperately insecure, particularly if you are also more physically fit and better looking.
I disagree with your therapist because your quitting dancing will not suddenly make him a self-assured, confident man; he will simply figure out other ways to feel insecure. If you are chatting up with the neighbor or go to watch a Brad Pitt movie, he will have a heart attack.
You definitely need another therapist who will tell him to be a man, to put his act together and start making enough money to take care of his family so that his wife wouldn’t have to dance all night in a bar in front of strangers. In the meantime, be strong, confident, and firmly tell him to back off. Let him know that you cannot let your children have a poor quality of life and are willing to do what it takes to provide for them. If he has a problem with it, he should work a little harder or find another job that pays for everything. If he cannot digest it, then, he should just leave you alone.
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