Ashley writes, “I am married and love my husband, but lately I have been thinking about his brother a lot. I feel an attraction towards him and don’t know if I’m doing wrong. Sometimes I feel like his brother is somewhat attracted to me too. I frequently fantasize about him and I having sex. Is this wrong? How can I tell if he really is attracted and feels the same as me?”
As married people we are always tempted by someone who is cuter, funnier, smarter or whatever that catches our imagination. It is a struggle for everyone to fight those temptations. It is my policy not to comment on morality since there are no absolutes. What may seem perfectly moral (death penalty, for example) to some can be disgusting to others. That is why I have no business telling you if your attraction to your brother-in-law is immoral or wrong.
Attraction to a brother-in-law is natural. In so many ways he can be like your husband but also better. Thus, for many women, their brother-in-law is like a husband+. No surprise then that many such brother-sister-in-law relationships exist.
Before you go any further, though, you have to really make sure that he feels the same way and will be open to a sexual relationship with you. Not only does he have to be discreet, but he has to be a stable man. I urge caution because so many men will go out drinking with their brother and blurt out everything that they never intended to say. That would be disastrous for the whole family.
If you think that he is a reasonably stable man (this is subjective but I am generally skeptical of people with substance abuse problems, unstable employment, lack of education, etc. as proof of instability), you might want to start off by flirting and sending suggestive body language signals. Be slow and deliberate and do not go overboard. If he responds in a positive manner, then, it is time to seduce him.