What is the etiquette for women to accept drinks from men in a bar?
Kay writes, “I would like to know the proper etiquette when a man buys you a drink. You accept it and say thank you but you are not interested in him. Men often buy you a drink and sit down or stand there and you can’t get rid of them because you don’t want to be rude or hurt their feelings. Should I just never accept the drink to begin with? Is it horrible to drink the beverage and chat for about 20 minutes and then go off to a different spot? I find myself in this situation a lot and never seem to handle it right and need some advice. What is the real meaning when a man buys you a drink? Does it mean, “Hey I’d like to get to know you and am working up to asking you out,” or is it really just buying you a drink. I’m lost and confused and would love to get some feedback on this topic.”
What are options for a single woman in a bar to accept drinks from men?
When men buy a drink for a stranger woman, they are essentially gambling their money in the hope that the gesture will lead to a conversation, and maybe more, depending on what they are looking for. In my opinion, a drink should be reciprocated with small talk to give the man the opportunity to make his case why he is an interesting man for a conversation. If just the looks of a man or something else make you believe that you are simply not interested in that man, please do not accept that drink. However, if a drink is already served to you, then, it is like the free mailing labels that you get in the mail, just thankfully accept it.
After accepting the drink and an introduction, if you think that you have nothing in common and would not entertain the idea of even a longer conversation, thank the person for the drink and move on. Ladies’ room is always a great excuse and then after spending some time there you can move to a different part of the bar. If the bar is not so busy and you don’t have that freedom, then your best bet is to go to another place. In most cases, unless the guy is a moron, he will get the message simply from your body language and how the conversation is going.
If the man who bought the drink and then engages in unacceptable behavior (and you decide what is unacceptable, not him, because putting his hand on your thigh maybe fine to him and to other women, but if that is unacceptable to you, that is the standard), then you should not finish the drink or take it with you, simply thank him for the drink and move on.
A bar is a place to meet new people, and it is better to exploit all possible opportunities to meet them, rather than worrying too much about being rude or hurting feelings. Men who go to bars typically budget money for buying drinks and like a casino, they might feel bad if they are not rewarded, but they simply consider it as a way to enjoy themselves.
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