My mom has banned me from seeing my boyfriend
Katrina, a teenager, writes, “I love my boyfriend with all my heart and I would go to the moon for him, but he’s so immature. That’s not the only problem. I thought that I found the perfect time to give him my virginity when my parents were gone from the house. Making a long story short, the perfect time wasn’t so perfect because my parents made a quick pit stop by the house. I had him hide in my closet but in the end he still ended up getting caught. So I can’t talk to him on the phone at all nor can he come back to my house to do homework or watch movies with me. I can only talk to him at school. I can’t be on the phone with him until my mother thinks that I’m responsible enough to stay at home alone again. I don’t know what to do about my boyfriend’s maturity level and I don’t know what to do about the situation with my mother. How should I really handle this crisis in my life?”
Regarding his being immature, well, he is just a teen so it makes sense. The only reason that you being a teenager yourself feel that he is immature is that girls tend to mature earlier than boys.
As you can imagine, no parent likes the idea of teenagers having sex (remember the movie Juno or how Bristol Palin got pregnant). The reason is simple: most teens are not mature enough to deal with it, and even worse, you could get pregnant. which will be disastrous. And with an immature guy like that, hmm….I am not sure if he can be trusted to have safe sex or be discreet or not mess up.
So here is what I want you to do:
1. This dude is immature. Keep an eye on him and hope that he will grow up. Some guys do; others don’t. So keep a watchful eye on him. You definitely don’t want to go to the moon with an immature guy.
2. Your mom is angry right now, and rightfully so. If as a teen you find him immature, imagine what your mom thinks of him. She probably thinks he is a baby. So you will need to get your mother’s trust back and that means being a good girl for many days/weeks to come. You will have to prove to her that you are responsible, that you don’t sneak behind her back and do things that she does not want you to do. She means nothing else but good for you.
3. And while you may not want to hear it, but I personally think that you should give your body to someone more mature. I know you want to do it as soon as possible (oh these hormones!) but sex is something special and it is nice to do it with a guy who knows what he is doing and will be your long term friend not just some immature kid in high school.
My married boyfriend is having trouble with his wife
Jessica writes, “I am a married woman who has been in a relationship with a married man for over a decade. Everyone knows about it now and is no one is happy with the arrangement but since divorce is not an option for the sake of kids, they have simply accepted the arrangement. We meet when we can but this week while we were talking about his not returning my calls for several days, he told me not to try to control him and leave him alone. He no longer answers his phone and I am freaking out. I don’t know what to do because I love him a lot and miss him right now.”
Adultery is not easy
As you can probably understand, he is probably dealing with serious problems in his marriage at home right now. That is why he has switched off his phone and is not able to speak to you. I hope you can understand that his wife must give him a very difficult time (if your husband doesn’t, you are a lucky woman) over the relationship with you. It is not easy for him to have you. He loves you but cannot leave his family either. Definitely his heart is with you but he is also responsible to his legally married wife.
You two have been together a long time and I doubt if he has ended the relationship. Most likely, he just wants to deal with problems at his home right now. So it is best that you not call him and bother him. Be patient and hopefully after the trouble at home is over, he will call you.
Remember that he is a married man and you are the other woman; so you will always come second. Patience is a great virtue and it will pay off if you quietly wait for him to contact you again.
How to have a relationship with a girl in Asia?
Steve writes, “Well, I am falling in love with an Asian girl who is on the other side of the world. We want to be together, but we have to wait for 3-4 years. We’re getting too antsy. I don’t know what to do?”
It is not easy to have a long distance relationship, especially at the other end of the world. What I know is that if your feelings for each other are genuine, 3-4 years is not a long time, especially if you stay in touch regularly, using all the technology. Also make an effort to meet whenever possible.
Secondly, this is important, trust her. That is the only way to maintain your sanity and let her live in peace. If she does not answer an email or phone right away do not just assume that she is with another guy. Give her privacy and freedom and hopefully it will work out great.