Alyssa writes, “I recently dumped my cute-but-useless boyfriend and I have been reflecting how I ended up being with a man like him for so long. My friends, and men especially, tell me I’m very good looking, I used to be a competitor body builder, swimsuit competitor, intelligent, have a good job, drive a great car – have good morals and upbringing. I have a lot to give and give a lot when I’m happy with someone. So while all my relationships have not been with this type, but most have. I may have a controlling personality – so maybe I like to choose men that are inferior to me. I have the mother complex too. Dangerous. I didn’t mind when my boyfriend pulled up in a beat-up rusted Toyota truck because we had developed a friendship before sex and found him to be a nice guy. I didn’t think it was my place to judge someone on their automobile. Otherwise wouldn’t I be a gold-digger? His looks didn’t get me at first either – in fact at first I thought he was kind of goofy – but then he grew on me. Other women kept telling me he was hot – and I guess that was a driver.”
Regarding your choices in men, well, not everyone gets lucky and gets it right. And some women may compromise on what they like — they will happily pick a dull, boring, average guy if he will provide them with a solid, stable, loving relationship and forget about that cute guy who is charming, fashionable, stylish, likable, has a great sense of humor, is the life of the party, is romantic with all the drama with flowers and candles, but is a loser in terms of professional success and may be unable to provide for his family. So every woman that picks a man that will be a partner in the life together because he values work and professional success is not necessarily a gold-digger (which is a woman that will be with any man as long as he is rich regardless of his age or values or personality). I guess a lot of time women confuse the men that they dream about to the man that they should marry.