writes, "My husband spends way too much time on his
laptop hiding in his
home office, where he now also has a futon that he
sleeps on, completely refusing to
share the master bed with me. Yesterday when I
knocked at the door, I heard him complaining (as if to
say, and what now?) and when I opened the door, I found
on his stomach that he had just closed. What could he be
doing that he does not want me to see? I think he
porn or talks to other
girls in chat rooms or even cams with them. I am fed
up with his
porn addiction and his ignoring his family
completely (even if I can accept his ignoring me, his
complete denial of the existence of our son is
heartbreaking). I am now running out of patience and I
want him to change his behavior. I have been a good wife
for too long but I can no longer
this abuse from him. What can I do other than
leaving my husband?"
Based on what you are telling me, it is clear that he is
addicted to computers. Generally
men who like porn react in one of the two ways:
men want a lot of sex and maybe in styles that
they see in the movies and eventually have it with
their wives. I think that is good as long as the
wife too enjoys it.
- Other men become so enchanted by
women in these movies that they stop liking
real women. These men simply like to watch women
who represent their idea of women and completely
ignore their wives/girlfriends.
I worry that your
husband maybe in love with these fake actors that he
sees no need to
with you (unless he is
having sex with other women). The solution is not to
with him (he will get very defensive and angry at you).
Is there someone in your family that he respects a lot?
Like his father or mother or brother/sister? If so, you
will have to speak this person and seek his/her help so
that this person can talk to your husband and make him
realize that he needs to change by paying more attention
to his family.