to make friends with Americans, particularly girls?
We get dozens of requests from Asians (particularly those still in Asia who are either trying to make friends over the Internet with westerners or are on their way to the United States as students or those who actually want to
American), who want to know
how can they be more attractive to Americans. Since there are so many variables that determine whether two people will be attracted to each other, a few are very specific to each culture.
(Related article: Tips
for American women in Asia to find a relationship)
contacted a couple of our long-time patrons and then picked what we think is the best piece of advice from Theresa in Buffalo, New York.
"I greatly enjoy spending time with Asian people and
exchange-students. I have a
Chinese exchange-student living with my family and I hope to be a linguistics major in college and travel. I also have a good Japanese friend named Takashi whom I have known since October 2002.
With regards to Asian travelers seeking to interact with Americans, I would definitely say that speaking in English is important. I do not mean that they should be fluent, or even semi-fluent; I just mean that I find it somewhat
annoying when I do not know what is being said. I was once invited to a small dinner with some Chinese students and while I was there, hardly anyone spoke English, to me or around me. I felt soooo lost! I just stared at my plate and listened to them talk in Chinese for about two hours! Even worse, I felt as though I ought to be doing something besides sitting and stuffing my face... It was horribly uncomfortable! And even worse, some of the guys were like, "Why doesn't she eat more?" and stuff to the girl who had brought me. I felt like I was behaving rudely or something.
On the other hand, when I'm around
some of my Japanese friends, like Takeshi, I have a ton of fun
because he's not afraid to use English. We talk about many
things and I enjoy his company very much! Granted, he does say
some things incorrectly but I find it more amusing than
embarrassing, like when he got the words "testament" and a
manís private organ mixed up and he told my Mom he knew a little bit about the "Old Test****" in the
I guess what I'm trying to tell all Asians who wish to
make friends in the U.S. or with Americans is, it's uncomfortable and rude to talk in your own language around Americans who don't know whether to laugh, smile, frown, or stare until the conversation comes back to something they understand! We are willing to overlook any mistakes you make because that's not what makes a relationship important. Just
be yourself and have
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