Sweet memories of a romantic relationship
Memories of a great romance never go away

By Jim Paddington

During my lunches in the cafeteria, my friends and I would sit with a group of several of these girls, giving me a chance to flirt and talk with a number of them. But, really, I wasn't hitting it off with any of them...that is, until I met Keiko. Most of these girls were very polite and sweet, but they had this mannerism that made it harder for me to make the first move.  Keiko was different though and that is why we clicked. She was amusing, cute, and seemed to understand me (by which I mean more than just understanding the language I was speaking - Keiko understood me as a person.) Also, she was quite exotic, and not as shallow as some of the other girls I was talking to, both American and Japanese.  At the same time, Keiko had an enigmatic quality I couldn't put my finger on. I didn't know if she was experimenting with me, or exactly what she made of me. We started out in the school cafeteria, with everyone else, talking and laughing, but then at the end of the school year, everyone moved out for the summer, except for a few people. Keiko was one of those people, and somehow we hooked up. Initially, we were just friends going for walks on evenings in June, but we soon progressed to being lovers. It wasn't something we talked about, that is, deciding to be 'boyfriend and girlfriend'; rather it happened spontaneously, and without words. 

I had not known at that time that Japanese people were such big believers in non-verbal communication but later on as I learned more about them, I found out that so much is so often left unsaid by the Japanese. People who complain of being frustrated with the Japanese do not fully appreciate the Japanese communication style. Since we have such a strong tendency not to understand what is not told to us, we often get crazy when Japanese people do not say anything and then we do not know what to make of it. I wish I had known all this at that time.  I have some clear memories of the early days of our relationship: we talked about our goals and what we wanted out of life, about her family and her brother back in Japan. 

We also gossiped about some of the other Japanese girls at my college (all the Japanese girls were just as gossipy as all the rest of the students were at my school). I invited her over to my mom's apartment (where I lived for the summer breaks), and we played the video game Street Fighter II, which she had played against her brother in Japan. It was at this point Keiko taught me what the word otaku meant (watch the video below to understand what it means), telling me that I was obsessed with video games.  Other times, we were over at her dorm room (which she shared with an irritating and self-absorbed American girl who was, fortunately, never home) hanging out. It was here that she introduced me to ramen noodles, which, at the time, I thought was extremely exotic until I found out you can get them in any grocery store at 10 packages for a dollar. 

At the time, I had a very large, very old Cadillac, which Keiko loved dearly. One afternoon, she shyly asked me if she could drive it around the parking lot. I obliged her and watched as she sat in the driver's seat of my car, laughing as she made wide circles in an empty parking lot of our college. Looking back, I'm amazed at how comfortable we both were with each other so quickly, and at how well we communicated. While she continued to be a big mystery to me, I thought I had a lot of luck in fully appreciating what she wanted out of me.  In a sense, most of our relationship was carried on nonverbally - our instinctual drives were carrying us forward, the drive to understand the foreign, and the excitement of being with someone exotic. I guess she found me to be as exotic as I was to her. We never truly confessed our love for each other but it was clear to both of us that we were not just two classmates.

While we knew what it was we thought that it was not necessary to verbalize and formalize our relationship.  After about a month of growing closer, I was starting to feel attracted to her in a way that was part romantic.  I knew that Japanese were not openly physical people in public so we had kept our relationship limited to unintended touching and casual holding of hands. Despite being rather casual in our relationship, I liked her a lot and we both felt this connection that told me that she wanted me as much as I did. I thought at this point to organize a rather romantic evening for her. I invited her to go out for a meal in a local restaurant that was not necessarily expensive but it was popular among couples because of its ambiance of soft light and soothing music. This particular evening, I had taken special care to dress up a bit more than usual. Keiko did not dress very flashy but I thought she looked attractive in her orange T-shirt and black slacks with sandals. Bringing her to the restaurant was an icebreaker for us. This place was full of couples and when she saw this, her passion was ignited. From her demeanor and eye contact, she showed me that she no longer thought of me as a nice friend. We smiled a lot and even laughed at stupid things that we did in school.

When we returned to her room, I was feeling very good. Her roommate was not around so it was just the two of us lying against the wall on her twin-size bed. It was one of those pleasantly warm evenings in Iowa and even at 8 PM there was plenty of light that filtered through the windows. We were just teasing each other about how we looked and when she started to make fun of my lips for being too big, I rushed to grab her face and planted a big kiss on her lips telling her, "People with big lips are good kissers and I am going to prove to you what I mean by this". Keiko did not protest and gave me that cute look that had so charmed me all this time. We hardly stopped and were soon kissing passionately with our hands roaming over each other's bodies.  I clearly remember how Keiko got up from the bed and lifted her orange t-shirt over her head and I reached out to touch her dark blue silk bra. I had not expected that she would take the initiative to undress without even a request from me though I was very pleased that she did. I had always dreamed about her body since this was the first time I would see a non-white woman without her clothes. She continued to smile as I played with her small and firm body and stroked the silky fabric.  The sheer fabric of her bra was not able to hide the fact that she was as excited as I was. While I was desperate to see and feel her body, and even kiss it, I did not have the courage to either ask her or do it myself. It seemed though that our non-verbal communication was working.

She knew what I wanted and a few seconds later, she pushed the straps down, allowing me to appreciate her (which is perhaps the one moment I can always remember with perfect clarity when I think back). I had a heady feeling by now and we were now both very sure of how much we wanted each other. Her behavior also encouraged me to take initiatives since I knew that she was a
willing partner. As we lay intertwined on her bed, and my hand reached down underneath her jeans, she breathed heavily but slowly, her eyes closed and her mouth open, occasionally whispering in Japanese.  Unfortunately it was at this very moment that Keiko and I heard a key being inserted in the lock of the door to her dorm room. Her roommate had come back! Keiko and I quickly covered up and pretended to be asleep, while her roommate grabbed something from her closet and ran out to stay with her boyfriend.

The mood broken, Keiko and I left the dorm and got into my old Cadillac to go to get a late-night snack over at a nearby restaurant. Just after we got in the car, and I started driving us off campus, Keiko went ahead and released some frustration towards her roommate that had been building for a while. "She wasn't supposed to come back tonight!" and after repeating that, let loose with a number of what must have been serious curses in Japanese, only a couple of which I recognized. Then we both looked at each other and giggled like children, getting caught with our hands in the cookie jar!

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