How to console someone after a death in the family?
My friend Amy writes after the death of her relatively young brother in law, “I still thought that this was just a dream. Somehow deep inside I prayed that it was a dream. But it wasn’t. When I looked at his face, I realized that everything wasn’t a dream. I’m so sad. It’s the second times I lost someone in the family. I also lost my father when I was still in the elementary school. That time I didn’t understand death. I acted as a normal kid would and the same thing happened when my brother in law passed away. I didn’t cry. Well, now I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to make my family sadder. And after the funeral I started to ask many things such as why this happened? I even almost scolded God for giving this sadness to my family. But I realize that it was wrong. This is the best life God had given to my brother. If not, maybe he would have suffered more. Separation is hard. I wonder if there will be encounters with our loved ones some day. But I think again if we hadn’t met then there wouldn’t be happy things for our family to remember. Only memories can make us strong when someone has left.”
I have always known your pain because I have the same. So I can understand how you feel right now. I still cry sometimes when I think about not having a father. This week I cried while watching a movie (Stranger Than Fiction) — sounds stupid but here was a big grownup man crying while seeing Will Farrell die (in the end he lived).
I am not a believer in God so I don’t know what to say but the reality is that death is certain but still that makes it painful. That is why every moment of life should be appreciated and we should cherish each and every family member and friend.
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