My mother hates my girlfriend
Lawrence fell in love with a much older woman and the turn of events forced her to move in with him if the two wanted to be together. Since he lived with his parents, he had to take her in with the approval of his parents, who agreed only reluctantly because he was supporting them. He writes, “So far things have been OK; it’s a great joy to have her live with me and her being the first person I see every morning but as great as things are between she and I, my parents are still very apprehensive to accept her as my girlfriend and are beginning to act somewhat hostile towards her in a kind of a passive-aggressive way. This attitude towards her has been going on since last last month and it’s really getting to her. Last week, I found her in my room crying, we started talking and she told me that she wants my parents to approve of our relationship and not hate her for being with me. This broke my heart. I hate seeing her hurt like this. Right now I’m extremely angry at my parents and how they’re treating her. I’m at the end of my rope. I want to help my parents but at the same time if they can’t accept her then I don’t think I can help them out anymore. I’m really sick and tired of this and I don’t know what to do. What do you think?”
It is not easy for a mother to accept that her son is with a new woman and when you live together that competition really gets ugly (just ask people who live in joint families in many countries). In your case the situation is a little delicate because the two women are so close in age. Your mother may even feel that her little boy was misled or trapped by this older, more experienced, mature woman. And she may agonize over the fact that she may not see a grandchild.
This is your time to stand up and be a man. Tell your mother that you know what you are doing and she should learn to accept your girlfriend as a family member; any disrespect to her is disrespecting your choice and it hurts you. If she loves you, she should learn to make sure that you can be happy and your girlfriend gives you happiness. Hopefully, she will get the message that you are serious, 100% behind your girlfriend, and will not tolerate her mistreatment by anyone.
I know it has all been very sudden for your parents and they never had the chance to meet her before being forced to live together with her. So as soon as you guys are all in a position to live separately, you should try to make that happen.
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