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Bethany
writes, "I am
engaged and set to marry my fiancé next year but the
other day while
hanging
out with a friend of many years, in the heat of the
moment, we ended up
kissing and making out (and no, we were not
drunk).
I think I always had a
crush on him and he likes me too. That is probably
the reason we have been such
great friends for so long but for a number of
reasons, we have never really been
able to date. Since that incident, I have been
completely rattled and have been
doubting my commitment to marry the man I thought I
loved. I feel no different about my feelings for my
fiancé but I was surprised how good it felt to be
finally
physically intimate with a
guy that I have fantasized for so long. I talked
with him today over the phone and we agreed that things
would never work out between us, but we vowed to
always be
there for each other. To be the
best
of friends, to know that no matter what happens
there will always be at least
one
person who always cares. I know it isn't puppy love,
I've felt that, and I think this is not it, just as my
feelings for fiancé are not puppy love."
Boundaries are important to
friendships after marriage
I think that is the right thing to do
and it is great that you two could clear it like two
adults. Having said that, you both will also need to set
up boundaries for your relationship; otherwise it will
always conflict with your feelings for your fiancé, and
eventually your husband, (and also cause no
problems in your marriage because if you two are too
close, at some point your
husband
will get jealous and start objecting). Personally, I
would suggest that the two of you should have a
platonic friendship and that means doing nothing
that you would not do in the company of your husband.
What you don't want is to have your
love shared. This will keep your future
husband happy and your life will always be
uncomplicated. |
