Carmen
is a 55-year old
dating a man who is 15 years younger than her. She
has been
reluctant to have that relationship because she is
not sure if she
should be in any relationship. She writes, "He works
very hard on his job. I think he works too hard and such
long hours. The type of job he has sometimes requires
that of him. I just don't like it, because when I want
to see him I want to see him. I realize that is selfish
of me sometimes. What should I do about my behavior that
I show him when I want him to come over but he's
working? Also, he's been
married before and he has
young
children none of whom I've met. I asked him if he
would ever
get
married again and to my surprise, he said. "no." I
was happy to hear that and so relieved. I do not want to
ever
get married again myself. How do I manage this
relationship?"
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Regarding
your desire to see him when YOU want, I guess
that you will just have to be more considerate.
In any case you have not fully reciprocated to
his feelings and have even less rights over him.
Obviously when he is working, it would be
unreasonable to expect that he will abandon his
work (particularly in the current economic
environment that our employers want us to marry
our jobs) and spend time with you. |
Maybe he can, but his heart would
still be at work and he will be worrying about his work
anyway. I think you might want to develop a hobby or
some other activity that you can engage in when you know
that you cannot be with him.
Based on what you have told me, especially the part that
he -- like you -- is
looking
for companionship, rather than a
spouse, he might be a
good man for
you. I see no harm in
introducing
him to your friends and family as a
special friend rather than your
boyfriend
(and thus avoid questions about
marriage and all). In this sort of
friendship you can continue to
enjoy his friendship,
sex,
and company but be under no pressure to
take it to the next level. |
