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Rules
for relationships with men
Story
of a woman's quest to find the man of her dreams
By Nancy Ryder
I was not the only
one in having mediocre and unexciting experiences with men. Once I shared the hollowness of my relationships with men that I met with my friends, I was surprised to discover that I was not alone. I also learned that my definitions of ‘lowered expectations’ and ‘being realistic’ were nowhere close to what my peers had set for themselves. It was evident that while not technically alone, I was actually alone. I did not hear from anyone the kind of predicament that I was in.
(Related article: Relationship
after 30)
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This discovery was heart-breaking. I did not want to resign myself in the same manner as my friends had done and led a life full of compromises, without making an aggressive effort to seek what I was looking for. That is when I decided to revive my dream of being somebody unique – a poet, a rock star or even a philosopher. I wanted to belong to everyone who loved me and become a “Sweetheart of the World”.
(Related: How
to find a boyfriend?)
I promised to love everyone as much as I could, because I was firmly convinced that we are not limited in our
capacity to love – we have simply imposed restrictions on ourselves and have seriously limited or even destroyed our ability to love,
creating
loneliness, discord, and unhappiness in the world. I have always firmly believed that loving only one person is a poor utilization of our endless capacity to love. Doesn’t the mother love all her children? Why shouldn’t a mother then love
all children that she possibly can? Don’t we all love our brothers and sisters and other family members? What stops us from loving everyone else then? Why should we stop at our family members?
(Related article: Why
people fail to find love?) |
As long as I could share my love with others and if existing lovers did not object, I saw no reason to stop. I set rules for myself as follows:
- Limit the interaction to
written communication
- Not accept any material
gifts
- Not meet anyone till I was ready to give everyone a fair chance to compete with me for a
date
- Reciprocate gestures of goodwill to the extent my time and resources would permit
- Respect privacy
As you can very well imagine, only a very small group of intimate friends had any idea what I was up to. I wanted to go on with my life without being distracted too much but wanted to sincerely commit myself to my lovers too. I used the most powerful channel to spread the world – the Internet.
Related: Tips for satisfying relationships
Casual
relationships
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Relationships
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Lack
of success in relationships |
