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Dating a Japanese American man

Is there something I need to know?

Summary:  Tips for women interested in dating first or second generation Japanese-Americans.
Leanne writes, "I've been on an online dating website for a few weeks now and just recently I received an email from a Japanese-American gentleman who is interested in learning about me. I don't have enough to go on to determine if he's interested in an LTR but the possibility seems to be there. I just find myself a little bit surprised that he would contact me! He is originally from St. Louis and is now a corporate lawyer in NYC. I'm what you would consider a 'voluptuous' woman, 45 (he's 38 and fit) and based on what limited knowledge I have, mostly from myths I'm sure, I guess I just find it unusual that he would be interested in me. He claims to love my smile and thinks it's a reflection of how I am inside - 'beautiful' is the word he used. I've been on your site today reading and trying to learn what I can about Japanese men but mostly the information is geared toward Japanese men IN Japan. How do Americanized Japanese men differ, or do they? I know it seems like an ignorant question but when I say I'm new to this -  I'M NEW TO THIS! HELP"

No it is not an ignorant question and definitely worth asking. I like to believe that there are no stupid questions and I answer all questions. Write to me here if you want to ask a question or if you just want to anonymously share a story or comment say it here.

Now as you know America is a melting pot and we have people who come in all sorts of flavors. I have seen people who were born here but still follow the traditions of their native countries (many South Koreans, Indians and many others keep going back to their native countries to find a spouse even if they have more in common with someone here and nothing in common with people there). I have also seen people (and I am one of them) who came here, made it their home and embraced the culture to a point that they married an American.

So what is the deal with this Japanese American man?

You will never know till you give him a chance and find out more about him. He could be as American as an apple pie or very Japanese who is just venturing out of his comfort zone and trying to date an American woman or maybe somewhere in between.  (Related:  Do Japanese men like American girls?)

My suggestion to you would be to treat him without any bias at this point. Forget about the weight difference or any other difference for that matter. Just go with the flow and treat him like you would treat any other man. You might as well find out that he is no different than any man you have dated or who knows he might even blow your mind away because of his unique personality. Many of my readers tell me that they are pretty good at pleasing women, for example.
 
Related articles:  Relationship with a Japanese boyfriend

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