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| Why can't I find a Japanese girlfriend?
What am I doing wrong?
| Summary: A lot of
foreigners assume that because they are cute and good looking women in Japan will
fight to date them but they forget that Japanese girls
are very discerning and picky. They know what they
want and will never compromise on that. Below are
things that guys should watch out for when trying to
date in Japan. |
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| David
writes, "I'm a tall, good-looking
Caucasian guy, and
thought
coming to Japan would be some kind of
Disneyland
experience. But while I get checked out a lot, it's been
very, very hard for me to
meet people. It's primarily
the language barrier -
I have very little Japanese, and
most
girls I speak with have little or no English
ability. But beyond that, I still thought it would
somehow be easier. I definitely don't feel like I have
any special privileges being a
gaijin. I approach
pretty
girls all the time, usually in a
casual manner, just
saying hi, asking for directions, etc., and while some
are responsive, most aren't. I just wonder if I'm doing
something wrong, or if I'm
wearing the wrong clothes. I
dress pretty casual, but still very
cool and
fashionable. I wonder if I need to
dress up more? Or am
I
approaching the wrong girls? Are the
hottest ones
simply not
interested in
gaijins? All the white guys
I've seen here with
Japanese girls are average looking
at best. I also wonder if I should
try bars and
clubs.
So far I've only
tried talking to girls on the street,
in cafes and
shopping malls. And I've only been to
Tokyo
and Osaka so far. Any advice you have would be great
appreciated." |
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Here are my
thoughts on your situation:
- Yes, you can never be
overdressed in
Japan, so I trust you that you are
well dressed, but if
possible, take it up a notch.
Japanese women pay close
attention to attire and appearance than
women here in
America.
- Start picking up those
free magazines
(also check out their websites) in bookstores (Kinokuniya,
for example) aimed at gaijins. Hopefully you will see
some ads for free
Japanese language lessons. Even
knowing a few sentences are helpful. Speaking from my
experience, the more Japanese I spoke the better time I
had in Japan in every single sense. If you are serious
about this, start your
Japanese language training
seriously.
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Japanese people are very scared of
strangers and not just foreigners. The way to meet them
is through a situation that they consider socially
acceptable. So keep an eye in those magazines for events
where
foreigners are invited to interact with Japanese
people. Once you go there, start talking and exchanging
contact info.
- If possible, put an ad for
language
exchange lessons in these magazines or their websites.
Or offer English lessons at competitive rates. A lot of
English lessons are just way for women to hook up with
foreigners.
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Chatting up strangers on the road or
asking for directions will take you nowhere. That is why
start developing your gaijin
friendship network as well
so that as gaijins invite you to events you will
meet
Japanese women who are already
interested in foreigners.
If you go to
bars, stick to those in Roppongi which
attract foreigner-friendly Japanese women, but in the
end you still want to expand your network of friends and
acquaintances to be
introduced to more women.
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| Related:
How to
find a Japanese girlfriend
How to get a Japanese girl friend
How to meet real Japanese girls
Fling during a business trip to Japan |
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