Summary: When a Japanese
man goes silent, it simply means that he is no longer
interested in continuing a relationship. Since
Japanese people try not to hurt or embarrass others,
rather than confronting the issue, they simply hope that
by quietly walking away, they can end the relationship.
Marianne,
a white woman, has
low self esteem but it got
even worse when she was in
Tokyo and constantly
compared herself to
skinny,
fashionableJapanese
girls. She writes, "I am JUST a
stupid gaijin
and will never be accepted. I fear that my
Japanese lover thinks that I am not good enough
for the people around him but one thing he told
me at our
first date was that he doesn't have
any problem with
foreigners. The problem is that
when I
left Japan to return home to complete my
education, he is no longer returning my messages
or responding to my emails. Has he given up on
me now that I am out of Japan?"
I
wonder if you failed to take advantage of the
opportunity while you were there. Maybe because
of your constant
comparison to Japanese girls,
you came
across as less
self-assured and
insecure and he
concluded that you were not really so serious
about him or yourself. For a lot of men a
woman
that is
constantly beating herself up for no apparent
reason is not an attraction.
