I m
currently
learning Japanese with a
Japanese lady. I adore and like her very much. I
asked her out twice for
lunch, but she turned me down on both
occasions. Each time, she will say she's busy, and she
will say next week. I'm so frustrated. Do you think she
dislikes me or was she simply too busy? I know she
currently has a boyfriend and I'm a
bi-sexual woman. Should I continue to ask her out or
should I stay away from her? What should I do? I
keep thinking about her everyday.
Assuming that she doesn't dislike me,
how can I find out whether she likes me or not? It's
embarrassing if I ask her the third time and she
rejects me again.
What if I let her pick a day for lunch and she never
does so? That means she's simply not interested in
becoming friends with me for she only want our
relationship to be purely student and teacher only,
right?
I'm 28, cheerful, out spoken and humorous. I enjoy
music,
movies,
eating,
travelling and chatting. Basically we met in a
language school. I enrolled in a
Japanese language course and she's the teacher
there. We have lessons five days a week, 3 hrs per day.
Our class ends at 2.30pm. Our class size is about 10
students. During class, I always participate in asking
questions, jokes etc. Basically, I'm the "noisiest" and
most "active" student in classes. Somehow, I'm popular
in class, always attracting attention. I noticed that
she's always looking at me, my expressions etc. When I'm
talking to my classmates, I realized that she pays
attention and is trying to listen to our
conversation (but yet she's trying not to appear too
obvious). Especially when I'm down/too quite, she
daren't ask me questions during class until I'm back to
my normal self.
As for her, she's 29, has been living and working in my
country for 7 years. She's alone here while her family
members are living overseas. She
goes back
to Japan once a year. I'm not sure whether she's
living alone or with her boyfriend or with her
roommates. Currently she has a
boyfriend (Chinese). She seems busy all the time,
having programs on weekends. She always tell us where
she goes/did on weekends. She always says that she hang
out with her friends.
Sometimes I wonder if she's telling
the truth. I wonder if its her friends or boyfriend that
she hangs out with. She seems to be the sporty, outgoing and
fun loving sort. She
plays tennis, swims, jogs and likes to read books.
Sometimes she drinks with her friends at pubs. Yet
sometimes, she
seems shy to me. She blushes when I tease her or ask
questions about her boyfriend or friends.
Please advise me on what I should do in cases like that.
What does she really think/feel about me? My instincts
tell me that she likes me (or at least she
doesn't dislike me) yet she turned me down twice when I
invited her out for lunch. Do you think she's really
busy on those days or was she trying to be
polite by turning me down and then telling me to ask her
out some other days? I'm confused.
*****
I understand your #1 challenge. You
are not alone with her very often. Can you just stay
after class and ask a few questions?
The other thing that I want you to do is to use your
eyes more effectively. You know what I am talking
about - the look of
desire. Look directly into her
eyes and do not stop even if she makes
eye contact. And then when she looks back again,
give that meaningful, mischievous
smile
that you probably have. You need to literally
make her
wet when you look at her.
*****
I realized that when I look too long
into her eyes during class, she doesn't feel comfortable
and will try to look away. After which, she will look
back at me again when I don't look at her. What does
this mean? Does she like/dislike me or is she neutral?
*****
It is quite normal to do that for
almost everyone and it is generally considered to be
impolite to stare at someone like that. However, I asked
you to do so
because I want her to notice the desire in your eyes.
She may be
playing this game with you to find out what you
want. Does she know that you are
bi? Can you somehow let it be known to her? For
example, in a very casual conversation you can remark
about a
past girlfriend.
I think I would also like you to try to sit in the class
in such a way that you can make eye contact easily. I
would also like to discuss with you if you
can
wear something sexy, give her a peek, and then
notice her reaction.
I think it is too early to draw any conclusion if she
likes you or not or if she likes you in a way that you
want to be her lover. It is always very difficult to
find this out because if you were a man by this time I
would have said that this woman likes you. Maybe she has
never been in a
lesbian relationship, maybe she is
bi-curious, maybe she hates the whole idea, who
knows? We are just trying to make her interested in you
to a point that if she is not a
lesbian you can at least seduce her and give her a
taste of
what it is like to be with another woman. I have
found that while the number of
lesbians in
Japan is comparable to other western countries, they
are less open about their orientation. |
