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Have you
seen or know people that continue to be stuck with a
partner who is not doing any good at all to them? I
know quite a few people who are
stuck
in bad relationships, or even
marriages, and refuse to do anything about it,
though, they continue to complain. Maybe this email from
a
Japanese woman living in
Australia might explain what goes on inside the mind
of a person in this situation.
"My Aussie
boyfriend (sort of) can't make up his mind about
commitment. We
broke up a few times but somehow are still together.
I did everything to keep the relationship going. I fixed
my
visa myself, worked hard to support myself, and
sometimes him as well. He never
speaks a word of Japanese. He is a racist and an
abuser of women, but he is
charming too. I'm stupid; I don't know why I put up
with this. I guess I need help. Seriously starting to
hate Aussie blokes. I need to get out. I'm so
emotionally and physically attached to this man. But
I have to look after myself. I want to
settle down.
I had been
with only two men (both
Japanese) till I got here. I did very
normal stuff with them in bed. Then my Aussie BF
introduced me to new things. Some of them are very
degrading and I got hurt mentally and physically but
accepted those things. I didn't want to lose him and he
took advantage of me. I loved him but hated him too.
People think I'm stupid but that's me.
It's hard to
attract men anywhere, not only in Japan. They have
racism here. Only guys
marrying Asians are tricked, dirty old men who got
ripped off by
Thai prostitutes. I found most Aussies like
dark
skined or
blonde
girls. I feel I have nowhere to go. Good thing is
immigrants are nice. So we
losers should stick together!"
Advice
Getting stuck is a problem that you
need to deal with, preferably with the help of a
life coach. One can get stuck not only with a
partner but also in a bad job. One of the easiest
ways to get out of a situation like this is to take a
break of 30 days and go to a new place. So if you
are in a bad
relationship, separate from your partner for 30
days, and if possible,
take a
trip. It will allow you to see things from a
new perspective and eventually you will realize that you
are simply wasting your time and life.
The other thing to remember is that
you need to
build your self esteem. Think of it this way:
if you could
get this
man or woman, you can get another one. Do not
think that this is the last person on the planet for
you. |
