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Marrying
a Japanese man
An
American woman's fascination for Japanese men
By Mia Barrett
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A few months later he explained to me that it would be best if I waited at
least a few more years before joining him in Japan. I was so ready, but I
was willing to wait, because I loved him so much. Some time went by and I
was missing him so badly. I rarely heard from him and it was killing me. I
understood his busy schedule, but I still felt neglected after all we went
through to get to this point - to have a great future together. He finally
admitted to me that he felt it was best if I didn't come at all. I got the
impression that things were different for him and his career than he had
imagined it to be. He realized that it was not a good situation to have a
family, much less a
gaijin wife
in his country.
I know he was
terrified that I would get severely depressed in such a situation. Now
that I look back, I feel that things would have been tough for a while,
but I know that I would have made it. I feel that I was cheated the chance
to celebrate my life in Japan. I had already fallen
in love with Japan and the idea of living there. I had prepared myself
in so many ways for it, and to no avail. I had heard stories about
Japanese women dumping their lovers
without any explanation but I was experiencing the worst from a Japanese
man.
Restarting my life
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At the moment I'm teaching English in Sweden. I'm married to a Swede and
we even have children. The reason? After Makoto left me standing by the
shore, wishing for his presence in my life, I realized I would have to
move on. I subconsciously chose to not choose a Japanese mate. It hurt to
even hear Japanese spoken around me, because I would only see Makoto's
smiling face - we parted on terms of best friends. But I felt that I
should find a mate that was quite the opposite. I did just that. I found
someone lacking humor, very serious all the time, not willing to enjoy the
little things in life. Everything is an inconvenience to him. Nothing is a
good idea. Opportunities that I see as wonderful, he sees as great
dangers. He wants to stay put in one place all his life, I want to see the
world. I have a double B.A. degree, he doesn't care if he ever gets his
degree. He gets mad when I feel like laughing. We do not even have
intimate relations anymore, and he doesn't seem to mind at all. I feel trapped. AND I
realize just how much I still want a Japanese man as a life-partner. In
fact, that is all I can think about! |
Fantasies about
Japanese
I have fantasies about Japanese men constantly. It's the only thing that
turns me on anymore. Blonde hair
and blue eyes just do not appeal to me at
all. But the thought of just about any Japanese man makes my wild inner
self roar! The very thought of their timidity, in a cute way, just makes me want them even more! They know
how
to please a woman because they take the time to find out exactly what she,
as an individual, likes. The way they look, smell, and hearing them speak
Japanese to me in bed just makes me melt. It rekindles the spark I had
with Makoto, but intensified from the 5 years that have gone by since his
departure. I even had one encounter with a
Japanese man that came from Tokyo to see me in Sweden. I have beautiful
memories of that experience. But now I feel that I want more than just
encounters with Japanese men, I want to spend the rest of my life with
one. It doesn't matter if it would be in the US or in Japan. I'm up for
either one. Or if he is crazy enough to try living in Sweden for a while,
I'd consider that as well.
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