 Paula
writes, "For a long time I have
liked one of my
students. We are not in that classic
teacher loving a
student situation (also we both are in our 20s); I was
his private tutor for many months. He always treated me
professionally and while I
gave hints of my interest in
him either he did not get them or he did not respond. I
just hoped that maybe something will click in his head
and we can find out if we can
have a relationship. Then
I kinda gave up. Nothing really changed. I thought I had
become happy to accept things how they were but it has
come back to being a dilemma again. The
teaching context
has now gone, we do some
work together but on a more
equal basis and we meet up socially too. However, I'm
still too scared to suggest something more as I have
been waiting for a clearer
sign that he is interested.
There have been some things which could be interpreted
as signs of something more but they could equally just
be signs of friendship. I know there is no easy answer,
I just have to decide whether I should take the risk."
When the other person does not make a
move, you should
Chances are that either he is not interested in you at
all or thinks that
hitting on one's teacher is
inappropriate or considers you such a
good friend that
he wants to fight any romantic thoughts that might come
to him.
Assuming that
he is not gay or interested in other women
or not
already in a relationship, I think you have to
make a decision.
Can you ask him out on a date? There
are two possible outcomes.
- One, you will both end up
laughing why it took so long for either one of you do
this.
- Two, he will stop being even your friend because
when something like this happens, it is hard to
keep a
friendship. Yes, you will
lose a friend but unless his
friendship is so important to you that you do not want
to risk it at any cost, it is worth taking the risk to
tell him how you feel.
I don't know if this is an option, but can you seek the
help of a
mutual friend who can sort of make this easier
by hinting to him that she or he suspects that you are
interested in him but are
too shy to say so. |
