Jonathan went to a
bar just to have a few drinks but there were surprises for
him. He actually
met an
interesting woman that he had a
great
conversation with. "Two days later I get a message from
Tracy and she was giving me her number (how often does that
happen that a woman actually gives her number to you?).
I wasn't really sure how she got it, most likely through the
bartender, who knows me well. We
went on a date to this club and I did not think things
were going that great. But still, the next thing I know we are
in the car
kissing, talking, etc. We were also talking about getting
kinda serious. So now it's been almost a week and we kind of
came to an agreement that we need to try to slow things down.
We barely knew each other. So we meet up and talked for about
7 hours. She said that she has to get herself straightened out
before she can get into anything serious. I agreed completely
and let her know that I will help and support her 100%. She
now considers me her
best friend.
So it went from whoa to slow, but I want the whoa back. We are
going out of town together in a couple of days, and I am not
sure what to expect, so I'm getting kinda nervous. I think
she's the best. And I really want to be with her. What should
I do?"
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 Over the
years, I have learned that bars aren't exactly the best
places to
meet good women these days (try
online dating) - you know the ones you
want to marry or have a
serious relationship with. I am generally skeptical
of women who
kiss guys in parking lots, give out their number,
and then decide to
take
a trip with a guy they hardly know. Party girls like
that (think
polyamorous Lindsay Lohan), more often than not,
fall in and out of love pretty quickly.
Having
said that, life is full of surprises and people
find
love in all sorts of unexpected places. My hypothesis is
that Tracy went to the bar to "party" - nothing serious,
just plain fun. And contrary to her expectation, she found
someone who was not only fun but also someone she could
imagine having a steady relationship with. |
So, you
have to ask yourself, what do you really want? In case, you
just want to have a
casual relationship, she could be your
dream girl. In
case, you are looking for a serious relationship and feel that
she may be the woman, then go for it.
A lot of people will tell you to
to slow down or avoid doing certain things or
get to know the woman before you get into bed with her -
and stuff like that. However, my personal advice to you when
you are with her is to just go with the flow. And since you
will spend a lot of time with her, inevitably you will get to
know her better. Also make sure that you guys talk - so ask
questions and get to know her as a person. And
listen to me: during this trip
do not commit to anything. Do not promise
everlasting love or whatever even if that is how you
feel. If you reach a point that she is looking for an
answer, tell her that you need to think things over
since everything has happened so fast any way. I
am positive that she will understand because she too has
asked for time in
fixing her life. It will be a very important
decision for the two of you and the best thing to do is
to look at the relationship from all angles and then
take the next step.
After
a week or so of thinking it through and if your heart
tells you that she is the ONE, go for it. While I
will continue to say that most good relationships are
found through a deliberate, slow, and well thought-out
process of
dating and
mating,
you never know how and when you will
find your partner.
Related:
What is the
etiquette for women to accept drinks from men in a bar?
How does a woman hint that she wants to cheat
Best bars in San Diego
Women who
tease men
What not to say while trying to pickup a girl
Rodger Dodger movie |
