Chemistry in a relationship

When you don't have it, don't hope that it will come later

Linda, a 36-year old woman, was pursued aggressively by a younger man (27). She resisted his advances for over two years until she agreed to date him. After the first date, they ended up in bed and she expected that things will go fine considering that he was so interested in her and was otherwise a perfect gentleman. He was also very romantic, sweet, and funny, according to her. Things did not turn out that way, though. She writes, "After reluctantly agreeing to celebrate Valentine's Day with me, he has not called me. I am tired of waiting, depressed, and angry.  I plan to ignore his emails and phone calls if does approach me. When we met, he made up excuses about lack of time.  I just feel that he was just interested in the hunt and doesn't care about me any more. I think he will brag to his friends that he banged a fine, older, foxy woman. That's fine; I can brag too of sleeping with a younger dude. What do you think?"

I like your attitude - yes, you have also earned bragging rights. I don't know if there is much to learn from this incident. You both tried and it seems that there was no chemistry for something long-term and that is why it is easier to end the relationship than to drag it too long. I think because you resisted the relationship for that long, he took it as a challenge, as many men do who enjoy the hunt more than the reward. It seems that he really did not want a relationship as such. If we are too careful in life then we kill the spirit of adventure. So stay positive and hopefully things will work out better for you. And as far as this fling is concerned, well, you do have sweet memories of it.

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