Richard
writes, "I am in a
long-distance relationship with a woman for three
years but due to the distance, inability to spend enough
time together, and our personalities, we have had many
fights and arguments. Last time that we spoke over the
phone,
she suggested that we
take a
break and not
contact each other for a while. I guess what hurts
right now is her demand for no contact. It seems her
demand is slightly one sided. Though I am more than
willing to do this for the sake of the relationship! At
what point will she realize that such actions are not
healthy or fair to other people? We all have limits, but
silence,
not communicating or refusing to compromise,
regardless of self reason is slightly extreme! I sit and
my only genuine hope is that she sees this, and my
feelings! I am happy if any one
needs space, we all do. I guess I wonder how long is
enough? It sucks sitting here
feeling lonely, when all you desire to do is
meditate and say 'what can we do for each other?' I am
tempted
to break her rules and demand of no contact and just
simply ask her right off the bat! 'If you do not
want this relationship at least have the decency to
tell me, but stop putting me through constant
emotional turmoil and tell me, so I can
heal from all the damage you've done to me as a
person.' What do you suggest I do?"
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The
request for absolutely no contact is a bit
awkward. I suspect that for a
couple in a relationship like yours, for a
woman to demand that you do not contact her is a
bit strange and I sense serious problems going
forward. Maybe she wants to use the time to
think things through or hopes that you will
simply
leave her and she would not need to
end the relationship. |
This is what I suggest. Do not wait
next to the
phone hoping that it will ring.
Go on with your life. Give her 30 days and if she
still wants to be left alone, well, leave her alone
then. If you are being treated like this right now,
imagine things could get worse once you are together
(most
couples experience massive reduction in passion for
each other
after they are married).
Do not break the rule because that will simply
precipitate the crisis in case of a remote possibility
that due to a personal situation she does need some
private time.
Related:
Long distance relationship
My secret lover has stopped contact |
