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| I have a crush on a younger coworker
How do I resist making a move on him?
| Summary: Below is the
case of a cougar who is tempted to succumb to the
advances of a much younger colleague but wants to resist
it for several reasons, some of them personal. I
give her tips on how not to have an office romance with
a younger guy. |
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Francine
writes, "There's a
much younger man that I work
with, who seems to be
flirting with me. He {over
a course of time} just reaches out an
touches
me. Nothing sexual, just hand on my back, arm or
hand. He goes out of his way to chit chat. He
tells me things of a personal nature, such as
when he
broke up with his girlfriend and other
personal things. Ok, I'll admit I'm attracted,
but reality is
I'm much older. I made it a point
to introduce my daughter to him so he would
understand the
age difference. That didn't
discourage him for long. He still seems to be
flirting. Maybe I'm reading more into this,
maybe he looks at me as some kinda
mother
figure. But the problem is the more
he seems to
come on to me, the more I have the desire to
respond. Now I know this is a wrong thing to
feel. But, what else you should know is that
I've been a
swinger for several years. I'm not
married. I do
have a partner at this time. But
there are
problems in the relationship. Damn;
life has to be so complicated. OK so what's
important here is
what am I supposed to do with
this young man? I really like him and cherish
his
friendship. I would like to
keep his
friendship. Yeah, I could probably
pursue
something sexual with this guy and really mess
up a lot of lives. That's not what I want." |
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| But
Francine does not want to just mess with him for
her own
pleasure. She continues, "I'd like to keep him as
a
friend, help him grow and
choose a path for his life
that will be beneficial. He tells me personal things.
Probably tells these things to a lot of other people
too. But what can I say other than I've grown to care
about this kid. So what's your advice on my case? Also
on a personal thought, I find this kid attractive, or
hot as hell, however you wanna look at it."
There could
be a variety of reasons why he is interested in you. For
instance, he maybe genuinely
interested in a
relationship with a cougar, or if he knows about your
swinging past,
he might consider that you will be an
easy person to get
into bed with or there maybe something entirely
different.
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Based on
what you want to do with him, the right thing to do is to
have a honest conversation along the lines, "I suspect that
you are attracted to me and I must confess that I am too,
but I am not interested in a
serious, romantic relationship
with you at this time. Having said that, I do enjoy your
company and friendship and I would like to keep that
platonic friendship with you."
Chances are that if he is mature enough to appreciate that
two people can have a great friendship and help each other a
lot in
growing up, he will not abandon you, but if he does,
you should not take that as a
rejection. I want to warn you,
though, that it is very hard to
keep a friendship platonic
when the attraction is so strong and even sexual. |
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| Related:
How can a
mature woman attract a younger man
How to seduce a man on a business trip
Is Diane Von
Furstenberg a cougar
How to move on after breaking up at with a colleague |
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