A common mistake that people commit is not taking advantage of an opportunity when it comes. For instance, if I receive all the right signals for a relationship and if I do not respond in an appropriate and timely manner, I am actually sending a negative message –
I am not interested. And when the other person goes ahead and
pursues a relationship with
someone else, there is only little that I can do.
(Related:
Smart dating)
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 Something similar happened to Nina who was getting all the right signals from a man that she was attracted to. “But I am
overweight
(though I consider myself a BBW
- what I call as "overweight,
but attractive") and have low self esteem because of that. Now I see him with another girl and not only am I jealous, I am also freaking out. I don’t know if they are dating or not yet but he used to hug me and talk to me but now he talks to me as if he is making fun of me. My question is should I stop
flirting with him and ignore him totally or
continue to flirt and see what happens. Please Help!” she writes. |
It is very likely that you are imagining a lot of these things since you are jealous - a very natural (and good) feeling at this time. What might have happened
is that when you guys were merely flirting and you did not respond in a way that clearly and loudly implied that you were also interested in a relationship, he might have interpreted it as a signal that you
merely wanted to
flirt. So he has all the right in the world to pursue other women and find another relationship.
In any case, unless you confirm otherwise, you should continue to flirt with him and even
give hints of a date to him. If he is not dating her yet, chances are you can still have him. If he is dating her, then he would tell you so, and while you may have belatedly communicated your feelings for him (in case things don’t work out between them), it may be
time for you to move
on.
And regarding your being self-conscious about your weight, while it is a good idea to
reach your happy
weight, you should not stop living your life because of that. Look at all your positive qualities and
try to improve your body
image. Make a list of your attractive points (e.g. your hair or smile or your style or whatever that you think is good about you) and emphasize those rather than get too bogged down with what is not good about you.
If things do not work out with this man, this process of
raising your confidence will definitely help you in
finding your next
relationship.
Recommended articles: Why
do people fail to find love? Tips
for finding happy relationships
Dating tips from Luann de Lesseps
BBW self esteem |
