I simply do not
support
dating a loser
(Related:
How
to breakup with a loser) and often recommend that women
dump a
useless man at the first available opportunity, that is, as
soon as they realize that they are in a
dead-end relationship.
Barbara is
in such a
relationship. She is just 18 but
dating Chris for 3
years. The problem is that he is 32 years old and has a
12-year old
son from a previous marriage. "When I met Chris he
was a mess and his
ex-wife was stopping him from seeing his
son. Then eventually she came around and let him see him twice
a week. There are serious problems involving his son and his
ex-wife's new partner (they are both on drugs). I know Chris
is going through a rough time and all I have tried to do is be
there for him, but for some reason he keeps saying I am
selfish and he needs to look after his son. I just can't seem
to get the point across that I know and respect that he has to
be there for his son. He seems to think that I don't care
about his son and I only care about myself."
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 She continues, "During the 3 years
that we have known each other, I can't remember the last time
we went out. We make plans to go places but he always lets me
down. I love him so much but I'm starting to think that he is
too old for me and I should start
thinking about my own life
instead of his for a change. I feel like I need to get away
from him but I love him and I want to be with him. I just
don't know whether to carry on the way things are and hope
they will get better or leave, get over him and
get on with my
life. But to be honest I really don't know if I can leave.
What would you do?" she asks |
Chris is a
man
with a lot of baggage and I don't think an 18-year old girl
should deal with that much baggage - no matter how nice the
guy is (which Chris is not). Even worse, the guy does not
appreciate what you do for him and how much you love him. I
wouldn't even be surprised that he is indirectly hinting that
he wants to breakup by
abusing you emotionally and ignoring
you.
I think you
have a long and
beautiful life ahead of you and it will be a
waste to deal with someone like him while you could
focus on
your education and career right now. Trust me, even if you
leave him, it is not the
end of the world for either one of
you. He will be fine without you, it seems, and you will
realize that you were being dragged into a mess at
such a young age in your life. Girl, there is so much out
there for you to do - so go and do it, rather than getting
into the troubled life of a
single parent whose
ex-wife is on
drugs and wants to kidnap their child.
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