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How to live with a depressed spouse?

Be supportive, but also watch out for yourself

If your spouse or partner has never been a victim of depression, consider yourself lucky. In other words, at some point you will be in a situation when your partner is depressed - in many cases, he or she might not even know if that is the case. Marriage counseling coach Nancy Wasson has a few excellent tips for a spouse living with a depressed mate:
  Photo of a depressed woman sitting on a park bench.De-personalize your spouse's behavior. Remind yourself that your mate is ill -- and that's different from being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn or deliberately trying to make your life difficult.

Try to remember that your mate's perception, attitude, actions, patience and stamina are being impacted in major ways by the depression. When people are depressed, they often blame everyone else for their problems and see only the negatives in daily life. This is about the depression -- not about you.

Try to laugh every day to help keep the negative effects of depression at bay.

Read inspirational books or listen to inspirational audios and music each day.

Eat right, exercise, get enough sleep, stay in close contact with friends, participate in activities that bring you pleasure and keep your spiritual connection strong.

Take time for yourself so that you can read, listen to music, meditate, and pray. You'll have to be consistently proactive about your own emotional, physical, and spiritual health if you're going to survive your mate's depression intact.

Make an appointment for individual counseling before you feel like you're at the end of your rope. It's normal to feel resentful and angry that your personal life and family life are being so radically impacted by your mate's depression. You're in this for the long haul, so take the necessary steps to ensure that you'll be able to cope.

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