| Summary: Of course every
man and woman can get cold feet before taking the plunge
in the uncertain pool of marriage but considering how
few younger man marry older women, it is natural to have
doubts and second thoughts. As clichéd as it may
sound but age is merely a number and it is not the age
gap that matters in a marriage but a couple's commitment
to each other and willingness to do the hard work to
make it work. In this article below I address the
concerns of a young man who loves his girl but just
wonders if everything will work out well.
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Jimmy
writes, "I have
fallen in love with a lady who is about 5 years
older than myself. She is going to celebrate
her
40th birthday soon. When I am with her, the
age gap never crosses my mind because
everything is just perfect. When I am by myself,
though, some stupid thoughts enter my mind if I
will regret this down the road. Part of me
doesn't think this is much of an
age difference, but yet I still have some
doubts. I wonder if I am just responding to
society's invisible pressure and some comments
from my friends. Would you please comment on my
situation if I am being paranoid or just having
normal anxiety before
proposing to my dream girl?"
Actually,
when I advise
people on dealing with age gaps, I tell them
to look into the future if they really want to
think it though, but most often I tell people to
think about the present. We cannot really see
the future. Why worry about what will happen in
30, 40, 50 years when so many things can go
wrong in form of a
divorce or
death or some other
calamity. So if you like someone now, then
it is pointless to agonize about the future. |
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| Having
said that, I still tell people that if you are 20 years
old and like someone who is 15 years older than you then
think ahead of when you will be 40 and she or he will be
55. At that age one partner will still be in her or his
prime while the other will be in the declining phase.
The same applies to
overall
health, but I know that
couples still manage to work around that by making
adjustments like using Viagra.
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With this
discussion, 6 years
age gap is immaterial. You are both in the same age
bracket and will
age more or
less at the same rate and will be able to
enjoy a nice healthy, loving life together. The only
thing that you may want to think is that it will be nearly
impossible for her to get pregnant now and if you
want a child you will need to start trying immediately.
There is some hope with
fertility treatments but they are expensive and can have
serious side effects as well. Many experts also do not
recommend
people becoming parents at such a late stage. So if you
do not want to have a child with her, go right ahead and
celebrate your love. |
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| Related:
Pregnancy after 40
How to enjoy relationship with a younger guy |
