| Nelly
writes, "I am a
married
woman who has been in an extramarital relationship with
a married man for 12 years. Our
relationship is not a big secret but our spouses
have accepted it because nothing has stopped us and
everyone thinks it is a good idea for both
couples to
stay married due to our Catholic faith. Obviously,
our relationship is not as smooth as we would like it to
be. Our spouses complain a lot and that is how my
lover
told me yesterday that while he loves me very much,
since we both have
grownup children, he does not want any problems
concerning their future. Lately we hardly meet and
mostly we
talk on the
phone,
once or twice a month and when we do go out only for 3-4
hours. He says that he can't let me go but let us be
good
friends. What is going on? What should I do?"
It maybe too late to breakup
While
I understand his point, but don't you think it is a bit
naive of him to think that after 12 years, anyone does
not know. His children, and for that matter, almost
everyone around him, must already know that you two have
a special relationship. If he
stops the relationship, his past will not disappear
and everyone will always remember that he had a
lover.
So tell him that if you can continue to talk on the
phone and meet once or twice a month as you have been
doing, there is nothing wrong with it. His reputation is
already spoiled and it is best to live with that rather
than pretend that he can become Mr.
Faithful for the rest of his life. |
