Melissa
writes, "I
fell in love with my best friend at college. While I
could tell him anything in the world, this is something
that I couldn't, but a
girl friend with whom I
shared my
feelings, told him. Apparently he was in complete
shock! He had no idea that I felt that way and his reply
was that he thought it might be strange for us to
become romantic just because we've known each other
for a long time. He also told my friend that he thought
if
something was going to happen between us, it would have
happened earlier on. I think he found it awkward at
first when we met after this
conversation, but from my side I never showed any
awkwardness, even though I was quite upset. I'm happy
that we're
still friends and even though I appear to be over
it, inside I'm not. I guess the reason why I'm writing
to you now is to may be ask you for some advice and see
what you make of all this. A part of me still hopes that
one day he might feel the same way, but is it stupid of
me to think so? And I wonder what you think of the
theory that even when
guys and girls are just friends, guys will at some
point think about the
girl in
terms of more than a friend? How far do you think
this is true? And do you think it is applicable here in
my situation?"
Well,
I am sorry to hear that
things did
not work out as you expected. That happens when two
people can be great friends but not
lovers,
because as you understand, the two require a very
different type of interaction. My
wife
has become my best friend now that we have been
married for 8 years but I know that I have had
very
good friends for whom I would literally give my life
but I cannot visualize a
romantic relationship with me. They were simply
not my type. I think that is what is happening in your
case. You are simply not his type (remember he said that
'he thought if something was going to happen between us,
it would have happened earlier' implying that he did not
feel
romantic chemistry with you).
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Now maybe I am reading too
much into this, but instead of his saying that
you were not his type or that he could never
think of you romantically, what he said was
that 'it might be strange for us to get together
just because
we've known each other for a long time.' That
makes me think that he is a bit concerned how
others might see this. |
I have no hope that things will change
in the future because by saying what he has said he has
already declined to even consider it. If he was inclined
a little bit, he might have said, "Oh wow, I never
thought of her this way before, but I do like her, and I
think we can make a
great
couple." By saying that if it were meant to be it
would have happened earlier and that it would be strange
for you two to
be a couple, he is essentially killing the whole
idea.
Oh these men, aren't they cruel?
Breaking the hearts of romantic girls like you.
Regarding if "guys will at some point think about the
girl in terms of more than a friend," in my opinion,
men might fantasize sex but that does not mean they
want a
romantic relationship.
Men will fantasize sex with any woman, even one
sitting next to them on a
plane,
but a
romantic relationship is something else. So when he
is saying no to a
romantic
relationship with you, he is essentially saying that
you maybe a
wonderful girl and an
awesome
friend, but simply not his
sweetheart.
I hope that this does not discourage you in anyway or
change your perception about men. When you will
meet the right guy, trust me,
sparks will fly on both sides. In this case, it was
just you. When the
attraction is mutual,
love is stronger and the
relationship lasts forever. So just
move on from this guy and wait for that right guy to
come along who will like you as much as you like him.
For a
romantic girl like you, this will happen sooner than
you think.
Related:
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Does my best friend like me
Will my girlfriend marry me
Does she like me
Should I date my best friend
How do I search for a soulmate
How long to date before getting married
How to get over a guy already in a relationship
How to make sure that girl that I like becomes girlfriend
How to convince my best friend to marry me
Why did my boyfriend suddenly end our relationship
How to convince a man that I like him |
