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Why am I full of guilt for making love?

I hate myself and am going crazy

Summary:  People who grow up in highly religious families often have difficulty making strong romantic and intimate connections with their partners because they are full of guilt.  Read below the case of a woman who is dying of guilt for being intimate with the man she loves.

 

Image of a couple kissing on the lips

Melanie writes, "I was raised in a Christian family where sex is labeled as sin. Therefore, I have problem enjoying it because I am afraid of pain. I do make love couple of times but once I see his body I get scared for no reason. So I stop having it. It is making me full of guilt for having it but not being able to make my partner happy or even feeling any pleasure inside me. I also have fear of losing the one I love.  Please how do I get rid of fear and use my imagination?"

Fear of sex or private organs is rooted somewhere in your mind, maybe from early childhood or adolescence. It is typically more common among girls who were sexually abused or raped when they were young. Girls who grew up in very religious families in which sex was labeled as dirty or sinful also tend to have unhealthy feelings about sex and men.
All I can say is that when two people are in love, there is nothing sinful about making love. Actually, it is one way to celebrate your love the way you do it by spending time together, or giving gifts, or doing cute things for each other, or hug or cuddle or tell each other nice things. I do not wish to comment on what Christians believe but I do know that for any person to have a normal, healthy relationship that makes both partners happy, sex is essential. And not just passive sex, but full participation with a desire to please the other partner as well as please oneself.

 

Related:  How to save my marriage through sex    How to hint to my boyfriend that I am ready for sex   How to make love all night long

 

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