|
Martha, a
married woman,
cheated on her husband with another
married man. While they
broke up after a two-year relationship that was a
secret, her
ex-lover still keeps contacting her, though, he is
not willing to
divorce his wife
and marry Martha. She writes, "I've been trying to get
rid of him and that's the reason I cut off all
communication with his. And when I think I'm not
going to hear from him I'll get a
text message or
something from him. I don't want
to ask him how he really feels because I'm scared I'll
get hurt in the end. I just want to
forget
about him and move on. I love him with all my heart
but I know he is not what I need right now. And I'm not
sure if he know what he needs.
From talking to him months ago I thought his
marriage was terrible but now I'm not sure if that
was the truth because I was looking at some pictures of
him with his
family and they all look very happy together. But
then again looking at me with my
family, I look happy too, though my husband and I
live in a
sexless relationship. But I want him to just leave
me alone if I am not what he
wants or need in his life. I would rather have a
heartbreak than get up every day not knowing for sure if
he is the man for me or not. What should I do?"
You
will need to gather the courage to simply tell him that
you are ending the (whatever) relationship that you have
with him. You can tell him that it is a final decision
that you have made and is non-negotiable (in other
words, you
would not like to hear from him even on
Christmas). There is no need to be apologetic or
give explanations. The only way to end that chapter in
life is to break all
communications, and if that means getting a new
phone number and/or email address, then you should do
that too.
Just remember that it was something nice and sweet that
happened to you but it should now end. I know that I ate
like a pig on my last
vacation in Paris but that does not mean I can
continue to do so the rest of my life. It is a sweet
memory indeed to enjoy all those
French pastries but it is time for me to move on to
no-carb,
low fat diet and
keep my weight at a healthy level. What I am trying
to say is that it was a beautiful moment in your life
that you can cherish the rest of your life but you need
to look at the big picture -- you need to either
fix your marriage or
get a divorce and then
find
a man that you can have a more meaningful relationship
with. |
