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African American woman dating Japanese man

How to start this relationship?

Relationships between Japanese men and black women are extremely rare and based on the emails that we have received the relationships are limited to a few short-term, casual relationships (we have made no effort to compile statistics). Relationships between Japanese women and black men are somewhat more common (Kimora Lee Simmons is a daughter of such a couple).

Eileen is trying to see if she can enter this really tiny club. "I am a sophomore in college, and fairly knowledgeable and open-minded about the world, which gives me even greater possibilities about dating (check out our free dating website). Ever since I was a little girl, I had been fascinated with Asians, and their cultures. The one that intrigued me the most was the Japanese. Because I believe that you should study what you were interested in, and make it work for you, I became a Japanese major straight away. That is why I also joined the Japanese student association at my college. There I met this shy Japanese man and I really like him. After knowing that the Japanese men can be shy, and sometimes feelings can be misinterpreted greatly, I am wondering what I should do. I am actually pretty chicken, and let's just say I'm an expert when it comes to being rejected. I'm not all that pretty, by American standards, and I find that I have a unique situation in my area at least.  I was wondering if you could help me at all. A lot of the time, people love others just for looks, but I'm one of those few who like people for things much deeper," she writes.

How to go about this?

I know it is going to be hard but it doesn't hurt to try. More and more African Americans now live/work/travel to Japan and many younger Japanese now know that not all Americans are Caucasians. They see in movies and on television that what they might consider "Asian" or "African" (from appearance) are people who actually are as American as an apple pie.

It seems to me that you haven't even made the first move yet. I would strongly suggest that you at least try to get closer to him. Find an opportunity to work with him on an activity together, invite him to a party that may be going on somewhere at the campus, ask him to recommend a book or a Japanese movie or restaurant so that you have a chance to follow up on things (who knows he might even suggest that you watch the movie with him or check out the restaurant together). This will give you a good idea if he is warming up to you or not and if he realizes that you are interested in something more than just reading books about Japan.

If you see him comfortable in exploring a relationship, go ahead and give it a try. If not, improve your understanding of the culture and language, and find a way to go to Japan - your prospects will be much brighter there.

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