 I lived in
Japan for 10 years and got
married
to a Japanese woman seven years my senior after being
there for about six year. The
circumstances that lead to the marriage were
symptomatic of why I was never able to have "fun" in the
country the way most
gaijins do. I am
too shy,
lack self-confidence, work in a business that people
find boring (financial research), have a habit of saying
the wrong things at the wrong time, and unable to
read others body language (Asperger's Syndrome), the
quintessential 'nerd' with thick glasses, have a
background of limited involvement with people, for example
no parties in high school or university etc., and always
had too limited funds to go to the "right" places.
The
bottom line is that there are men in this world whom women
find naturally unattractive and whose personality,
physical and psychological limitations combine to
guarantee
failure in any attempt at a relationship. It's a pain
to see articles along the lines of "You
know you're a loser if..." and every one of the
attributes matches you perfectly. That's me.
I got
married
because I was
desperate and so was she. From an
physical intimacy point of view, I definitely married
the wrong person as whatever little we had stopped as soon
as my wife was
pregnant with our first child and resumed only to make
the second one. Once that was done it was games over and
has remained a
sexless marriage in the subsequent 13 years.
(Related:
How to find a Japanese woman)
So
while some of my
friends in Japan were
dating truly exciting women, I did not have even one
woman - even my wife has been a disaster. I've, however,
moved on. We now have two bright kids who are the exact
opposite of what I was. I live and work for them. Many
guys go to Japan with high expectations after hearing
how easy it is to get a Japanese girlfriend. Hell,
even I know guys that had a
date
set up before the Skytrain arrived at Ueno.
There are just no guarantees.
Related:
Sex with
Japanese women
30 day sex challenge |
