Marriage without passion
Should I have an affair?
Lynne writes, "I am a mature woman, approaching 40s. I consider myself happy and independent. I am married to a great man and we have two children. Our relationship is not perfect, but when I compare it to others I feel it is fine and it has been improving over the years. My husband and I almost never argue. This does not mean we don't make each other mad; we have just learned how to avoid and accept things we dislike. Culturally we are very different. I am more social and I need this. I am in many ways the typical Hispanic woman. I love to dance and see people. He is very British. This does not mean we don't go out. We do, but only to eat in a nice restaurant and he is not a good talker although I respect this difference. So my problem is that once in a while I'll fall in love with another man. I have not cheated but I have always been tempted. I can keep friends and I choose not to cheat, because I would not want anyone doing that to me. But I love feeling romantic love with someone, and of course, men seem to always want more. The three times that it has happened, my male friends become distant friends after a while. In the meantime I suffer, because a part of me would love to follow up on that and another one feels good that I have valued and respected our marriage. But why do I fall in love with other men? I recently met a younger guy (23) who I dance with. I let him know I am married and have children, but it is obvious we like each other a lot. Sometimes I feel I have the best of all: A great husband and a good guy friend that gives all the love and attention I like, but another part is always tempted to take things a little further. Another part of me wonders, maybe, I should not be married. I don't feel it is my husband's fault. He has always been the same. I knew he was more calm and this is what I liked about him. He does lack passion and especially in the winter this makes me feel cold and bored. He forgets my birthday, but he forgets everyone's birthday. He is sweet in other ways, just not fulfilling enough. There is no point on working on him. I don't feel like doing all the work all the time. I cannot stop dancing which would help me avoid meeting fun and passionate men. Then what can I do? I love being in love even if nothing else happens, but I don't like being in love and being married. Even if nothing physical happens it still takes time and emotional energy. But my heart needs it. Oh, please help."
Are affairs good?
behavior is not uncommon or unnatural. Whatever we are
missing in our lives, we want it. It is obvious that your
husband does not provide you with everything that you want
from a man and that is why when another man comes along who
does, you get that from him. Some women are lucky to have a
"friend" like yours and others
make online friends these