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Two-timing
women
Adultery
hurts relationships
By Vince Nardelli
I currently live in Manhattan. I'm a
Caucasian male, 29 years old, have my own e-business
online, and
do freelance work. I have had an interesting experience
dating a Japanese woman, and strange that it is, I thought I
would share it with the rest of the world so that other people
would have a better understanding of Japanese women when they
get an opportunity to interact with them.
I was dating Chiaki, a Japanese woman, 29,
living in Queens, New York for 3 weeks. A close friend of
mine, Sean, who only dates
Asians, introduced me to her.
Chiaki told me she had a boyfriend in Japan but I decided to
date her any way since I wanted to see what the big deal about
Japanese women was (that Sean kept talking about). She told me that her boyfriend was paying her entire rent for one year
and he wanted to be with her. Sean and I went out on a double date. It went well, we
drank a lot, and I made
her laugh all night. I was a little aggressive because I
was drunk but so was she - so it was understood.
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A day or two later I called her and
arranged a date with her. We went out for dinner at a
Japanese restaurant, I got her a fall fashionable purse and a
dozen roses, and later we watched a Japanese Movie
"Audition”. After this date, I took her home safely
in a cab. No
intimacy yet - just a little bit of kissing.
Third date: Bar, more bars, and finally back to my
place for a few rounds of unforgettable intimacy. Okay, things
started looking good for me. Forth Date: Almost the
same as the third except my friend met us and hung out with us
for most of the night. Of course back to my place -
yada-yada-yada. Fifth
Date: She invited me over to her place and cooked for me
and we drank a little bit of sake and
red wine - you know
the rest - great fun.
Chiaki told me again that her boyfriend in Japan was still in
the picture. I told her she should be with him and that he
must really love her. She said, "I don't want
him". Than I asked her, "Do you want me?"
She said, “Yes”.
(Related article: Experiences
with Japanese women)
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 Over
next few days, though I wasn't really buying it, she kept
telling me that she loved me and he was no longer in the
picture. I was enjoying our relationship and started
falling in love with her. She told me that she spoke about
me with her parents and she wanted me to come to Japan with her.
I was becoming happier with her each day. I felt it
was the beginning of a great experience.
On September 11th 2001, the two
planes crashed into the Twin Towers in Manhattan while I was on
a train with my Japanese girlfriend coming from her place on the
way to take her to her class. After the class she and I
went for lunch and then back to my place.
I called her that night - everything seemed good.
She was even calling her boyfriend as “ex-boyfriend” now.
I called her again Wednesday but she was busy with her
family on the phone and indicated that she will call me back.
I waited four days and she never called me back.
I tried calling her by phone, cell phone, and emailed her
but she did not respond.
After
waiting for what seemed like an eternity, she told me that the
Japanese guy proposed to her over the phone. She told me
that she said "No" to him. This was
beginning to be an issue. But, I didn't pay much attention
to it because she didn't bring it up in conversation. I
sent Chiaki a dozen sunflowers to her place for our anniversary.
We
decided to celebrate our anniversary at a restaurant.
She had arrived early and I noticed that she had already
polished off a glass of Merlot and was working on her second
glass at the bar. I ordered a glass of Chardonnay and we
sat down to have dinner. Shortly after being seated, she handed me a Barney’s New
York bag. I told
her that I would open it after dinner. She wanted me to
open it right away. But
I said, “Let’s relax and I'll be happy to open it later”
(since I knew the Japanese custom – gifts should be opened
only after the giver has left).
After our dinner she said, "I have something to
tell you." I
knew it was something bad from her little nuances and the tone
of her voice. I asked her if it something bad and she said,
"Yes. Maybe I
shouldn't tell you. I
still love him."
(Related:
Multiple
lovers)
I
was floored and shocked to the point of tears rolling down my
face and feeling like I was going to throw up. I was
speechless for a minute and could only utter "Why, why?
Why are you doing this to me?" After regaining
my composure, I took a deep breath and decided to open her gift
from Barneys. It was a very nice leather wallet.
I asked her, “Why are you breaking up with me and
giving me a gift at the same time?"
She said, "I want to give this to you out of
appreciation for all the nice things you did for me."
I thought for a moment and said, "I will only accept this
if it is from your heart, and if it is not, I can not accept
this." She wanted me to keep it and told me to just
throw it away later if I did not want to keep it. This gift was
an insult to me. It was like saying bye, here's a wallet,
and now leave me alone. I
began to explain to her in English and a little Japanese the
difference between love and appreciation. She didn't really
understand me, become upset, and left quickly. I paid the
bill and got into a cab with her up the street. The cab
stopped at my place and I left her the Barneys gift and said my
goodbyes through many tears that were misunderstood.
She
called me that night to say sorry but I did not pick up the
phone. The next day she called again and I picked up the
phone but could hardly talk because I was feeling weak and very
sick from our last date. I managed to muster up enough
energy to speak with her briefly and she told me that she was
undecided and wanted to think about the Japanese man and me. I just told her to go with her heart. But I winded up
telling her to go with him and told her that I will just have to
find another girl that is honest.
(Related:
Sex with Japanese
women)
I
still feel something for Chiaki but I know deep down that I need
to take my loss and move on.
This experience has left me completely rattled and I
wonder if there is something about Japanese women that I need to
know or was this just an unusual case.
Related: Relationship
problems with a Japanese woman Clues
of a man cheating online
I am in love with
2 girls
Polyamorous women
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