 Stacy
is a 37 year old woman who ran into a 20-year old man
not realizing that he was so young.
Casual flirting led to a few dates and that is when
she found out
how young he was. "The
first
night we literally hung out and made out. It made me
feel like I was in
high school where the only interest was
kissing,
not groping. The following day we
went for dinner and he asked me what this is, I
responded by saying I guess you will be the one to
decide that. I do not want a
quick fling, I enjoy the innocence and truthfulness
of my new friend. Here is my issue. He has mentioned to
me that he is
still a virgin and is waiting for the
woman
he marries to share that with. I say right on that
makes my decade! The fact that
sex won’t
be the issue but rather
foreplay will be the main event is refreshing. He
has commented that this is just a
fling because our
ages are so far apart, but this is where the
confusion builds. Though he has made this comment; when
I asked him how he would feel if I were to see someone
else and not spend my free time just with him, he said
he would want to beat him up. That comment has confused
me and left me wondering what the direction is. Can you
make some sense of this?" she asks.
I think the significance of "he is still a
virgin and is waiting for the woman he marries to
share that with" could be twofold. One, he could be
envisioning you as his
wife
and sending hints to you to gauge your reaction. The
second possibility is that he is telling you that
kissing/making out are as far as he will go and you
should not expect
make love to him for the very first time since that
is not going to happen.
Regarding his comment that he "would want to beat him
(any other man dating you) up," he might just be trying
to be
cute, funny, or clever, or once again, hinting at
something more serious.
My recommendation would be to not
push for
sex on your own and keep the relationship as natural
as it is going now. During the coming weeks you will get
a better idea of how he sees you and
what kind of
relationship he envisions with you. If you get an
idea that he just wants you
as a friend to hang out and make out once in a
while, you have to decide if you want to go that route.
In case he appears to be more serious, you may want to
think if that is what you want with a 20-year old. Such
relationships are far more common than you would
think and contrary to popular opinion they work too. So
don't close your mind. |
