Men with relationship baggage

I have been dating this really great guy for over 4 months and I don't want to lose him now. When we first laid eyes on each other, we were both attracted to each other right away and we couldn't take our eyes off one another. We hit it off right away and had 3-hour long conversations on the phone; it was all really good.

He is 37 (and has a 4 year old son) and I am 23. The age gap never bothered me, but it did bother him a little bit when it comes to people's reactions toward our relationship. A few weeks ago, he broke things off with me. After having talked to him, it turns out that it wasn't the age gap that provoked this, but the fact that he still hasn't been able to make a career for himself. He has been trying for so long, but there are just no jobs available in his field in this town. He doesn't want to move though, because of his son. So, he is pretty much stuck here and has to deal with the possibility of never finding that dream job. When we first met, he had been out of work for about a month. That was never an issue for me though and I made sure to tell him that when that particular topic came up. I encouraged him to keep trying and told him that eventually, he will get his break. He told me that he just can't commit (marriage) to someone until he is in a certain position in life (having that job). When he broke things off with me, I was really shocked because I thought that he really liked me. Turns out, he does like me. When I left his house that day, I had tears in my eyes and I looked at him right before I left; he was teary-eyed himself. Then, he put his arms around me twice and said that he was sorry.

Going back to when we first started dating, it never occurred to me that he might have commitment issues. He introduced me to his son (we get along great by the way and I absolutely love kids) two weeks into it and then he wanted me to meet his sister not long after that. Everything was great and they all really liked me. I met his entire family about a month and a half into our relationship. They all really seemed to like and embrace me (despite the age difference) and it was all great. The fact that he wasn't shy about introducing me to his family showed me that he wasn't afraid to commit and that he really liked me. He also wanted me to meet his friends and ALL of them really liked me and they weren't afraid to tell him that I was "totally adorable and that they love me."

We also talked about marriage before (not specifically us getting married anytime soon) and he said that he could see himself getting married to someone like me. He also told me several times that he can't wait to have more children and he said that we would have a great kid. All of this showed me that he was really into it and so I never thought that he would be the one breaking things off like this. We have a lot of things in common (surprisingly, despite the 13 years) and we always had a lot of fun together. I know that his son has absolute priority in his life and I support that 100%. That was one of the things that attracted me to him, that he was the greatest Dad.

He has that job right now that he is not really happy with, but the bills have to be paid somehow. I always supported him and just tried to show him that I want to be with him for who he is, not what he does. Things started to get a little rocky, because that job takes up a lot of his time and he is always stressed out. I never blamed him for anything, though, and just tried to be there for him.  (Related:  Dating a man with baggage)

I wrote his sister an e-mail after all this happened. She wrote back saying that he has this horrible commitment issue. And she said that even though he was the one breaking things off with his son's mother, he is still a little hung up on her. They try to get along because of their son, but when he's not around, they do fight quite a bit. She also told me that it has nothing to do with me and that the entire family is disappointed about how things went. I don't know what to do. He obviously has feelings for me, but he just can't seem to work things out. I don't want to lose him. I hope you can help me."