Tracy
writes, "I dated a man for 10 years, the whole time I
was with him he
always cheated. It seems like he
cheats
with these
bad, cheap women who are on
drugs. I
have also been hearing he is into
prostitutes. A lot of these
girls are a lot younger than us. We
break up and
go back.
Last time we
broke up for 2 years, I
never
dated or even liked anyone else. Then he will
come back,
beg and plead. Last time I kept telling him no, he
proposed on
Christmas eve in front of his whole family. We
started
planning a wedding. I then found out about a 25 year
old he was seeing. He is 55. I am 45. He is now
with this girl who steals off him, drained his
bank account, and is a
drug addict. I just don't understand what
draws him to these types of girls. He
goes out of town for work and that is when it gets
worse. I know he is sick, but I find myself thinking
about him all the time. It has been about 6 months since
I heard from him. I will never go back this time.
But I think about him all the time everyday. I feel like
I still love him and I can't
move on.
I really am determined this time not to go back. I
just really can't understand why he runs back and does
it again and again. Does he mean to
hurt me? Is this a game to him? Does he ever feel
bad for the things he does?"
First
of all, forgive me, if I am a little harsh but if I do
come across that way, I want you to realize the gravity
of the situation and in the end I want to be helpful.
Secondly, I am honestly shocked that someone would spend
10 years of their valuable life with a man who is
addicted
to cheating. I can understand a
man on a
business trip who has a
one night stand or just has a
fling with a woman
during a moment of
mid life crisis, but this man is
addicted to sex with new women all the time. Such
men are incapable of
monogamous relationships.
Thirdly, you have some
serious
self-esteem issues. When you say that 'we broke up
for 2 years, I never dated or even liked anyone else,'
the reason it happened this way was not that good,
normal men do not exist, but you have convinced yourself
that all you deserve are
losers,
cheats,
jerks,
and unstable men. Thankfully, you recognize that he is
sick, but so are you to even think of him. You have to
work on your self esteem, realize that there are a
lot of
good men out there that are nothing like him, and
then go get a
regular man who wants nothing more than to
be in love and have a very normal life with you that
includes being together and
enjoying small things in life that can give us so
much pleasure.
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Fourthly, I don't want to
delve too much into why he does it -- I am
guessing that he has many psychological problems
and some of them could go back to his
childhood. I don't think he does it to hurt
you or he even feels bad about it. I don't know
about you, but for example, there are
women that are addicted to shopping or
eating
desserts and they don't even realize that
they are
going bankrupt or
becoming fat because of them. Their brains
are wired differently that they are more
satisfied with what they do than to get worried
by the consequences. |
I am very proud of you that you have
chosen not to see him any more but you also have to
take the next step of
convincing yourself that you are worth more than
being with a
serial cheat. If you are not in
great physical shape, it is time to
hit the gym,
go on a
diet, and maybe even
get some plastic surgery done, if needed.
Look at your wardrobe and see if you have any
clothes
older than 6 months that you have not used.
Develop a new style and go
shopping for some
new outfits. What about the hobbies? Have you always
wanted to
visit Bora Bora or do a road trip in
France? This is the time.
And why am I suggesting this transformation?
Because it will make you a
new person,
forget
about a man that you think you love but he doesn't,
and will make you realize that you can
do
bigger and better things and also
attract better men. Trust me, I wouldn't be
surprised that you were even able to
charm
younger men, if you want to follow the
latest trend in dating.
You can
turn your life around because many women that I am
in touch with have done so. And of course, I am here to
help so
please write to me anytime.
Related:
Confession of cheaters
Should I have an affair
I love
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Does a lover end a marriage
Should I trust my husband after cheating?
Why do middle aged men cheat
I have a hunch that my boyfriend is cheating
My husband cheats but I do not want to leave him
I am pregnant but my boyfriend is cheating
How to catch my cheating boyfriend
How often can I see my secret lover?
Should I get pregnant with a cheating husband |
