Monica
writes, "My boyfriend is in the
military and we often have little arguments here and
there over nothing really. I seem to think that he
can be a bit
controlling or "protective," some seem to call it. I
can't do specific things but why is it that he can do
something and I can't do that exact same thing. For
example, he says he goes out with the "guys" after work
to
relieve stress, but yet I can't
go out with the girls. He comes home and I have to
drop everything I have planned. There are many things I
can tell you about this
man that I seem to love so much. He talks about
marriage all the time but still has 2 more years in
the service. It's hard, I admit, and sometimes
heartbreaking to be with him. When getting into
arguments with him, I'm always the one to seem like the
bad person. He knows very well how to turn things on me
when he was the one in the wrong but make it seem as
though I'm the one needing to say sorry. In the end I'm
always the one trying to work things out. What goes on
in his mind? Why is he so hypocritical with things? Why
does he
want my hand in marriage when the time isn't even
right? So anyways I'm just going crazy and is sick of
all the arguments for no reason. Things just seem like
they are going down the drain, but I love him so much
that I'm willing to stay with him even though it's
hurting me. I seem to have that mindset where I'd rather
be miserable with him than
be happy without him. Call me
crazy but "LOVE" seems to conquer all. What's wrong with
me and our relationship?"
Women...
- Who are
abused at some point in their lives
- Have very
low
self esteem
- Have been told by loved ones and
others that they are worthless and have no sense of
self-worth
- Who think that they do not
deserve the best....
......often end up thinking like you.
Most men will ignore women like you because they find
that these
women have issues and do not want to deal with them.
However, a small group of aggressive,
manipulative,
abusive men love such women because they can treat
these women like garbage and they still love and respect
them. The more the
abuse
they receive, the more submissive they become until they
are nothing but slaves to these men who treat them like
maids or
moms to
their children or
sex slaves
while they go on with their lives, even
getting other lovers.
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This is your situation. I
know that you want to be 'miserable with him
than be happy without him,' and think that this
self-destructive behavior is "love," but the
reality is that you are a
victim of abuse by a
controlling man who finds that you are weak
and easy to dominate. Either this man will
mistreat you his whole life because you don't
say No or he will
dump you one day like a piece of garbage and
blame everything on you. You will even beg him
to
take you back while he will continue to
mistreat you. |
Your
attitude is not normal. You seem like a
nice girl
but someone has put a lot of (I hate to use such harsh
words) garbage in your head. I really hope that you will
give some thought to what I have written and
reevaluate your priorities and relationship. I see
that you are
in college and can really build a
good
life for yourself rather than be a slave to some
control-freak.
Related:
My
boyfriend is a con
Divorce
critical husband
How to leave a controlling man
Where should I go if I leave my husband
My boyfriend mistreats me but I am stuck
My husband is suffocating me
My online boyfriend fooled me
My
husband shouts at me
My husband is a narcissist
How to give up control
I love my abusive boyfriend
How to deal with an obnoxious guy |
