Being in a
relationship does not mean that one has to give up one's
identity, likes, hobbies, etc. completely but if you try
not to include your partner in whatever maybe your
passion, that can be a problem in the long run. It is very
likely that your partner may give you a hard time liking
some of your wild hobbies, but eventually, he or she has
to learn to appreciate it for the sake of the relationship
or you must give it up for the same reason.
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|
|
 Let us take
the case of Sheila. Her otherwise wonderful husband is an
occasional
cross dresser. When he
transforms himself into a woman, he forgets everyone
around him, including his wife. Sheila writes, "I wanted
to be able to accept him and his desires, but he went too
far. I feel totally forgotten. He wants me to give and
give, and I get nothing in return. Maybe I do not have
good communication skills but even after I do try to
tell him calmly and he acknowledges me, his behavior never
changes. I was OK with it once in a while, but I want my
man back. If I wanted to be with a female I would find a
lesbian relationship. I am so frustrated. I do love
him, but he is changing into someone I don't even know. I
cannot just walk away from him for a couple reasons. I
have a 7 month old baby with him and I am a
housewife. I wonder what should I do?" |
Your
situation is very complex and delicate. Occasional
cross dressing or doing it for fun is not a big
deal but he is clearly at a point that he needs
professional help. I think then that you have to
do your best to
make your relationship work and you have to
ask him to be your partner - again. Tell him that
you are happy to
please him with his
role play fantasy (Naughty
Christina Aguilera) but it has to be give and
take. If he does not please you, then it is not
going to work.
It
would not help to hate his behavior or fight with
him because that will get you nowhere. I also have
a feeling that he has some hidden desires that are
so overpowering that he is not thinking clearly at
this time.
You
must also seek the help of a professional
therapist who can work with him to make sure that
he not only deals with his problems but also
learns the
responsibilities of a marriage and fatherhood.
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