Heather
writes, "I have been with my fiancé 10 years, and
live with
him. He got
divorced
15 years ago and she lives just 10 minutes away. All
time they have
continued to be friends. She sends postcards saying,
"Paris
is so romantic, I wish you were here to share it."
He has a PO Box, so I rarely see his mail. She sends
cards saying she thinks of him every day. They both wish
each other
happy
birthday, Merry
Christmas, etc. BUT it all happens behind my back
and he denies having much
contact with ex-wife. Even though I seem to know
what's going on in his life. He said they are
just friends and will always stay in touch. He goes
into
mood swings for a month at a time and ignores me and
goes out when he is angry by himself for the whole day.
Obviously I imagine he goes to her; I can't help it. He
is mad now and her
birthday
is in 10 days. I expect him to stay mad for at least
another 3 weeks. He is mad because I don't like him
being friends behind my back with her. He locks his
phone and
computer, and does not use the
home phone.
He made me remove his photos from our online family
album. I am not allowed to do his laundry or enter his
closet. He also rents a storage shed. Am I wrong to
have
suspicions? He says I am crazy and most women
wouldn't have a problem with the situation. He also
travels a lot. Four of the places he traveled to
were named on her Facebook page as the places she had
the most fun. She is not working, so is
free to travel. I feel it is unfair, hurtful
and disrespectful. I have heard him say 'I love you' to
her on the phone. He got out of the car to take the call
and didn't think I heard. What should I do?"
Your
story is very tragic but my immediate question is what
the hell are you doing with this man for 10 years,
especially because he has
not married you yet, and probably, never will. Of
course, you have listed a litany of
problems in the relationship that make me wonder why
you hang on to this man being so miserable.
|
|
It is very clear from your
description that they maybe
divorced but in their hearts they are still
married to each other. I fail to understand
why is he with you, though. You are not part of
his life and he is not abusing you because you
don't even have to do his laundry. |
Please, leave this man. He does not
deserve you. You have already wasted 10 years of your
life on him and even if he were to marry you tomorrow,
you will always be his second wife. This man is
disturbed and not worth living with
even a day.
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